His Best Kept Secret | FACK [COMPLETED]

Chapter 1: Two Tickets

JACK.

Nothing could prepare me for the last day on set; the last day I would see the losers club. See, we were all best friends. Our friendships were forged over the last few months of consistent contact. Almost every weekend Sophia, Jaeden, Finn, Wyatt, Chosen, Jeremy and I would hang out.

I met my soul mates, not in a romantic way, but in a way where our bonds would be impossible to break. We worked together, played together, cried together. We knew almost everything about each other.

Of course we had our secrets, but for the most part, we were an open book. At least, I wanted to be.

A couple weeks before shooting ended, Finn asked me over to his trailer. That wasn't weird, we usually hung out whenever we could between scenes, but what was weird is that I was the only one he invited.

I knocked on the door, but then thought "Why the hell am I knocking" and walked in.

His hair wasn't curly then, it was straightened earlier in the morning for the shoot. As I walked in he turned to greet me, "Hey buddy" he smiled.

"Hey Finn, I brought some candy!" I got him some Reese's pieces, Finn's favorite, I think?

"Thanks, dude!" he smiled, this time I noticed it...His perfection. He had a wide smile, which showed his perfectly white teeth. His freckles looked like they were lightly kissed onto an entirely white canvas. I got lost in his eyes, like a boat that lost contact with the mainland. At that moment, I lost myself, which created an awkward silence.

Why was I thinking this about my best friend? On set, I was closest to Finn, but I never felt this way before. My cheeks began to burn like the hood of an old car in the summer sun. I smiled trying to hide the red that was starting to show on my cheeks.

"You gonna share or what?" he called out.

I awkwardly moved towards him offering Reese's pieces. Some fell out of the bag, and I almost fell apart. I tried to keep my composure. I had this secret....I liked boys. And I could barely contain it.

"Jack, what's wrong?" Finn asked. He noticed that I got pale. He picked up the pieces that fell onto the ground and he ate them. "Dude, wanna sit down?" He asked sliding his hand around my back allowing his hand to rest on my shoulder.

I was numb. I could barely move. My heart was pounding, and I couldn't control my thoughts. I couldn't stop the feeling of impending doom that would eventually reign upon me. I couldn't stop the inevitable weight of my emotions at that moment. Why now?

"Everything's going to be alright" He reassured as we slowly walked to a chair.

I couldn't talk to him, or barely look at him. I hated that I loved the way he was treating me. I didn't want this moment to end. I didn't want him to stop caring about me, in this intimate way. How did I last this long without noticing how much I loved him? How come all it took was a moment of us being alone for me to notice that I fell in love with my best friend. With the one person, I felt so comfortable around, yet so not comfortable at the same time.

I hoped that he would hold me tight, tell me that everything would be alright and that he would keep me safe. But he didn't. He did sit me down and ask if I was alright, but that's where the buck stopped. I nodded my head and he handed me a bottle of water.

"Dude, what just happened?" He asked in complete seriousness.

I pulled myself back to reality best I could: "I just had a panic attack" I didn't want to lie to him... I just couldn't tell the whole truth.

"Man, I didn't know you had those" He said to me while rubbing my shoulder. "I didn't either" I replied.

He smiled as he said, "I bought something that we talked about a few weeks ago... and since the shoot is ending soon I think we should do it as soon as possible." He smiled, this time it was slight, yet still perfect. I remember smiling back, but it was automatic, I lost self-control.

In that moment he turned around, I wanted to stand up, grab his shoulder and confess my love. But, what if he wasn't gay? What if he was but didn't feel the same way? What if I was "like a little brother" like he said in a live stream a few weeks back.

But then other thoughts began to flood into my head: I can't be gay...People would hate me...I shouldn't be gay. There wasn't anything wrong with other people being gay, but me? I never really thought about it before. This freaked me out.

It hurt me. I didn't want or choose to be this way. I didn't want to fall in love with him. I didn't know how to deal with it. I grasped the seat of my chair tightly. I lost my composure as he rummaged through his bag. I had to be quick to pull myself back together. It hurt, trying to conform back to what I used to hide so well. I was so good at hiding my problem; I even hid it from myself.

He turned around, like a goddamn wall slamming into me, he is always perfect, in every way. He did a little twisty thing where he spun around making a swishing noise with his mouth. He waved up two tickets.

"So you know how you wanted to see a hockey game!" He smiled. I got lost again, in the thought that he wanted to do something with me, alone.

I have never been hit by a truck before, but in the best possible way, this is probably how it would feel. At first, I felt a wave of immense happiness. I mean, Finn wanted to spend time with me. Apparently, he thought enough of me to buy these tickets. Most people would just move on and not even think about the conversation again. Finn's thoughtful action showed me he cared more than most. It showed me that he wanted to spend time with me alone. He may not be in love with me, but at least he desired to be my best friend.

I'm not sure if that's what I wanted, but it was better than not ever being with him again.

But then, I felt an anxiety pour over me like molasses. It was thick and suffocating. I could barely breathe. What if he found out that I loved him. More importantly, what if he found out that I loved him and it disgusted him, it made him hate me. I had to keep this secret, I couldn't show him I loved him.

"Yea?" I shot back "what about it?" A stupid question, I thought. I saw the tickets; I should have put it together!

"I got us some tickets" He raised his eyebrows in a weird way that confused me. I mean I know he did it to be funny, but I wanted it to be in a different way.

"Oh my god, It's going to be so awesome!" I replied, "You're the best!" I stood up and hugged him, yes, as a friend. I was just as happy, at least that's what I told myself, to have a friend like him.

Time froze. The world stopped mattering for the few moments that I had with him. He pulled me in, wrapping his arms around my body keeping me close. I couldn't tell if it was a friendly hug either. At the time, I felt sorry for having this massive crush on him and not letting him know while hugging him. It felt like I was taking advantage of him. But I quickly threw that thought away and let us be. He didn't even push away. It was like...he enjoyed it too.

I was still in his arms when the door swung open, enjoying the safety that his arms provided. It was Jaeden who ruined the moment.

"What's up Finn," he said flinging the door open. "Oh hey, Jack. I didn't know you'd be here." Our hug didn't even faze him.

Finn looked at me as I slipped away in fear. "Yea well I didn't know you were done kissing Sophia" I quipped.

He looked at me in disgust. "I'm not kissing Sophia until next week." That was the final shot of the movie. Our Director Andy Muschietti planned to shoot that scene last, so we would have a good farewell that coincided with the movies ending.

Finn looked for his script to study his lines for the next scene we would be shooting. He grabbed a bottle of water and walked out of the trailer inviting Jaeden and me to come along to lunch.

To be continued.