Positive?!

[67]

Jackson:

Mark placed some plastic cups with different colored paints in them on his bedside table while I was watching him with scepticism. I didn't think that he was serious when he told me about his plan.

He really wanted me to draw a painting on his belly. I actually thought that he was kidding when he said that. He had told me that his sister had also done that during her two pregnancies.

Unluckily, I wasn't a very good artist so hopefully Mark didn't expect me to create a masterpiece because I definitely wouldn't be able to fulfill his expectations. But I would give my best.

"And what exactly do you want me to draw?" I asked him while he removed his shirt what made me feel a little nervous during the first seconds. It was the first time I would touch his belly without something over it.

"It doesn't matter. Just be creative." He smiled and laid down on his back. I sat down next to him. "You know that I'm everything but creative." I chuckled and grabbed the cup with the blue paint.

It felt cold on my fingers while I carefully started to spread it on my friend's belly who was calmly watching me with a smile on his lips. I didn't really know what to do so I just followed my feelings.

It was a bit weird to share such moments with someone I actually hadn't been that close to during the past years but it was important for me that I could make those experiences now.

In the end, it was still my first child and I didn't want to miss anything. I really hoped that Mark knew that I wanted to try my best and take my responsibility although I acted like an idiot sometimes.

I didn't mean to hurt Mark when I had my bad days but on some days I was a bit overwhelmed by the pressure of school, swimming and becoming a father. Unluckily, it wasn't easy.

I tried to find a balance between my responsibility and my own wishes. It seemed to sound harsh but a baby in my age wasn't my wish. She was there now and I accepted and loved her but my wish was swimming.

I didn't want to miss practice in the end because I had to take care of my child the whole day. Mark and I definitely had to share the work and I hoped he would understand how important my sport was.

"Hey Jacks. What are you thinking about?" Mark asked me in a soft tone while I started to spread the green paint on his pale skin. I smiled at the older male and kept on doing my work.

"I thought about her. And about swimming." I admitted and looked at the other male and tried to find a reaction in his dark brown eyes. His look was understanding and he even smiled at me.

"You can still go to your practice when she's born. I won't force you to take care of her when you actually have swim practice." He told me and his gaze followed the movements of my hands.

"It's really ok for you?" I asked him just to make it sure. "Of course. It's your dream and you've already done so much for it. It wouldn't be fair if you had to give it up now." Mark looked up to me.

One of his hands gave mine a gentle squeeze and he didn't seem to care that my hand was full of green and blue paint. He just gave me a honest smile what made me feel relieved but also very thankful.

Sometimes, I felt like Mark was too kind and nice for this world. He forgave everyone who harmed him and he even looked at other people's dream before he cared about his own. I actually wondered if he even had a dream.

"Mark? Do you have a dream?" I asked his out of curiosity. The black-haired male seemed a bit surprised about my question but nodded in response. "Of course, I have." He answered.

"I want to become a music producer. I've liked music since I've been a child and I also like writing songs and lyrics. It helps me to talk about my feelings." He explained what made me smile.

I was sure Mark would made a great producer. He knew how to work with words and what he had to write to make other persons feel certain emotions like sadness or happiness. I had once read one of his short stories for school which proved that.

"But at the moment I want to focus on her. I can still go to university when she's a bit older." He added to his previous statement and I nodded. For him, his daughter was more important than his dreams.

I partly felt bad because I couldn't even say what was more important for me. I had worked for my dream since my early childhood and I couldn't just put it on the second rang because my situation had changed.

Maybe that would change when she was born. When I would see her, I would probably feel different because I was actually looking at my own baby and I had heard that those moments changed a lot.

I sighed heavily when and kept on drawing small white clouds on Mark's belly while I tried to ignore the small mess in my mind. I shouldn't think of all this now. No one could know how it would be in the future.

"I know it's weird because we had a normal life and suddenly we have a baby on the way but I'm sure that we will get used to this situation and to our role as parents. It just needs time." Mark said softly.

I looked at him in surprise. It seemed like he could read my mind. He could easily guess what I thought and he even had a good advice to my problems. Was I really that easy to read for others?

"You seem to know me pretty good." I stated the obvious fact which made him grin. "I do. We've been living together for months now. It would be a shame if I didn't know you that good." He chuckled softly.

I finally finished my work and grabbed his hands to help him to get up. Together we walked up to the mirror next to his closet and I proudly showed Mark my more or less amazing work.

I had drawn the sky with sun and clouds, grass and a red house on it. Not really creative or special but at least it looked much better than my drawing during my time in the kindergarten.

"It's cute." Mark laughed softly and looked down on the painting on his upper body. "It looks better than I expected. Good work Jackson." He patted my head and I playfully hit his arm.

"Idiot." I laughed a bit and watched the other boy looking at himself in the mirror. He had a smile on his lips which grew wider with every second. "I think she likes it, too." He chuckled and looked down on his belly.

"Well, she is my daughter. She has a great taste." I grinned and leaned my chin on his shoulder and tried to resist the wish to stroke his belly because I didn't want to destroy my work.

I actually liked the atmosphere between us now. It was calm and harmonic. It seemed like Mark and didn't have to fall in love to create something like a real family for our little girl.

—

I (kind of) made it. It's past midnight so it's technically not the same day anymore but still ^^

Thank you for reading ❤