Nineteen Sixty-Four // Starrison

Chapter 12

George looked at himself in the cracked mirror. His reflection showed an emaciated man with sunken cheeks, clear dark circles under eyes — which revealed many sleepless nights — and a stubble. This person took a shirt off, sighing quietly. The one could notice small, red marks on his back — undoubtedly done by his lover.

He shaved and got into the lukewarm water, letting himself drift away.

A few days passed since their meeting with Brian Epstein. Harrison knew they had to make a decision fast, because this man won’t wait forever. But he felt more and more uncertain and delayed the decision; the fact he had not many occasions to see Ringo made it all easier.

George was slowly losing his edge.

One day Eric disappeared. Just like this. He hasn’t shown at work, he hasn’t sat next to him in the lunchroom, his name was no longer on the workers’ list. Harrison shivered at the thought that the same could happen to him. He had no idea which crime has Eric committed, but surely more minor, than him. How the hell was he even still alive?!

He couldn’t run away from paranoia, not anymore. There was no safe place, even in his dreams, where Thought Police was coming into his home, or dragging both of them from their clearing, tearing them from a love embrace.

George was consumed by fear for Richard. He feared they’d be separated. Taken. Tortured. That the government will use pain to make him renounce his undying love. Those fears didn’t let him sleep, taking his self-confidence away. Was it life or death?

The more Harrison was thinking about this, the more he was sure about his decision.

The man left home, heading not the train station though, but a small forest, located near the west part of the proles’ district. They found another place here — beyond the forest there were remains of a small, modest forester with walls overgrown with moss. In several places a roof has collapsed, the drafts were coming through the entire house, the road was much longer, but they found it worth to go there when they didn’t want to spend time — especially to make love - outdoor.

As he’s expected, Ringo was waiting for him at the entrance. He smiled at George’s sight, his blue eyes shining. Harrison’s heart sank, nearly regretting what was gonna happen, wishing for that moment to never come, even if it seemed like a right thing to do.

Even then…

George sighs. This pain is too much. Why did it matter to him, why has he decided to do this anyway? Pointless. Everything was pointless.

“Joj!” Richard hugged him and smashed their lips together, definitely not in a delicate way. He bit on George’s lip. The brown-eyed man knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself to kiss back; because Ringo was too addictive to pull apart. “As if I haven’t seen you for years!” He laughed, coming into the house.

“Just a few days, how do you deal with life?” Harrison asked and forced a smile, following his lover. Ha sat on a wooden box, the only thing that was left in this place, biting his lip nervously.

“I barely deal,” Starkey smiled — truly — sat on George’s lap and looked deep into his eyes. “Oh God, Joj, you look pretty bad. When did you get to sleep last time?”

The younger one winced. “Too long ago.”

“You’ll sleep better today,” Ringo murmured, kissing him in the neck and collarbone. It took him a while to realize that his lover didn’t kiss him back, didn’t show any sign of an interest, his muscles didn’t relax, contrary — they stiffened. Richard raised his eyes and looked at him quizzically. “Joj? Is everything alright?”