I frantically search my bag, having sobered up a tiny bit but still completely drunk. I had just gotten a call from the hospital and I had to get there right now, I knew I should have stayed with him. I finally find my car keys, trying to stand up from my crouched position and put my bag on my shoulder but end up dropping the keys, a frustrated groan leaving my mouth as I bend down and pat the grass for them.
Everyone else was dancing drunkenly to the music, the couples grinding against each other whilst Brad, Katie and Tristan just jump up and down. It was late and everyone was a lot drunker than before, too drunk to notice what I was doing.
I finally find them and grab them, standing up and trying to run to my car until I hear my name being called and I stop in my tracks, just wanting to get to my dad without all these interruptions.
"Where are you going?" Brad asks me, coming up to me and lightly pressing his hand to the small of my back.
"I need to go." I say, not wanting to tell him anything.
"I may be drunk but I'm not stupid enough to let you drive, come on just stay and sort it out tomorrow." He says, pulling at my hand trying to get me to come dance with him and continue drinking.
He was annoying me; it wasn't right for me to be annoyed though. He had no idea what was happening and why I wanted to get away, he was trying to look out for me. I was too stubborn to give in and tell him and I was too drunk to think about phoning a taxi.
"Let go of me!" I exclaim, pulling my hand away from his for him to simply grab my face and give me an intense glare.
"You're drunk and you're not driving." He states and I was getting angrier by the second.
"You don't understand, I need to go!" I shout and try to push him away from me but he isn't having any of it. "I need to go, let me go!"
I try to hit him away but he just grabs my clenched fists, stopping me from pathetically hitting him.
"So help me understand! You always do this shit, Lauren, we get close then you go and push me away and all of a sudden we hate each other again! I'm not letting this happen again, just tell me why you need to go and I'll help you but you are not driving."
"You want to know why I need to go so bad? My dads in hospital most likely taking his last fucking breaths right now and I need to go but instead you're here holding me back and if I don't get to say goodbye I will hate you and never ever forgive you, it will all be your fault." I yell at him and his hands drop mine as he looks at me in disbelief and pity, the one look that I despise more than anything.
He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the field and we just run, our shoes hitting the pavement and our heaving breaths the only thing you can hear in the dead street. We come to a halt and I'm getting pushed into a car that I believe to be a taxi. Brad tells the driver to take us to the hospital and to step on it and it all seems so unreal.
Time feels like it stops, that right now it was just Brad and I holding hands in the back of a taxi that was going way to fast. All the other cars just seem to stop and the intoxicated people stumbling home seem to pause, all I could hear was Brad telling me everything was going to be okay, that he was always going to be here for me.
I know as soon as I see my dad I was probably never going to speak to Brad again, too embarrassed as now he knows my life is a complete and utter shit show. He's going to treat me like I'm this glass doll and I could break with just the slightest bit of pressure and I don't want him to look at me like that, I want him to look at me as Lauren.
I want him to see me and think about all our arguments and want to argue with me more not see me and get this sympathetic look on his face and watch every word he says around me. I want us to be Brad and Lauren not Brad and the china doll. It's weird wanting someone to fight with you so much.
We reach the hospital and Brad throws a twenty pound note at the driver and we rush to the main desk.
"What room is Alistair McGuiness in? He's my dad, you literally just called me." I hurriedly ask and she gives me a sympathetic look.
"He's in intensive care right now, you'll have to wait here and someone will come down to get you." She explains and Brad tries to get me to sit down but I pull against him.
"I need to see him!" I exclaim, a tear slipping from my eye.
"I'm sorry hunny, it's the best I can do." She softly says and I throw my head back and run my hands over my face.
Brad was stood behind me and I did something and said something that I probably shouldn't have said, I didn't want to continue how we were acting and I didn't want to feed it because one of us is going to be lead on. I ran into his arms, my arms around his neck and his around my waist tightly.
Maybe it was because it was in the moment and he was there for me when I needed someone the most or perhaps it was because I did genuinely feel this way.
"I like you, Brad, a lot more than I hate you."
Maybe I should have just left it at that however, regret fills my mind as well as how he was going to hurt me and he was still just playing a game with me. This stupid fucking game.
"But you really need to fuck off and leave me the fuck alone." And with that I walk away from him, leaving him frozen in place with a million questions and me running down the hall to the intensive care unit with a million answers on the tip of my tongue.
i guess i should thank you for hurting me, it gives me something to write about.
