alternate feelings || bws

chapter two || "i tripped and it fell and fuck-"

"Give me my fucking phone before I beat the shit out of you." I shout, marching up to Brad and his little cronies with nothing but the look of pure hatred on my face.

"Not with that attitude. Suck my dick and I might." He retorts and all his friends laugh behind him and I roll my eyes.

"Only if you have a magnifying glass." I tightly smile before looking him up and down in disgust.

Something about how much this boy pisses me off pissed me off as well. I didn't really have a good reason to begin with and then I hated him and now, after him saying all this shit to me and acting like a complete and utter dick I wanted to break every single bone in his body then when they begin to heal, break them all over again. I had such burning hate in me when I was near him I had no clue of any other emotion.

"Why do you automatically assume I took it?" He questions, an eyebrow raised and a smirk gracing his lips.

I don't know why my mind went straight to him taking it but now looking at him I know he's took it and so does he, his hobby just seems to annoy me to the extent where I want to cut my ears off and scratch out my eyes with a blunt steak knife.

"You know fine well you took it." I seethe, trying to step forward to search him but he holds my forehead keeping me in my place. "If you want to keep all five of your fingers I would remove your hand."

"Technically I have four fingers and a thumb." He widely smiles at me.

"You know what, fucking keep the phone." I sarcastically smile and walk away, I know he'll give me it back; he isn't that big of a dick.

I don't have a password and if he goes through it, which I know he will, I'm certain he'll give it back to me. It has loads of photos and videos of me and Olivia when we were so happy and they were the only things helping me get through life right now; that and playing the piano for my dad.

He had stage four leukaemia and it was coming up to his final days. He taught me how to play the piano when I was about six, obviously I wasn't very good back then but as I grew I got better and better. I loved playing for him, just seeing the smile on his face despite all the pain he was in, how alive he looked when he saw me play. He put his life and soul into teaching me it and I wasn't going to stop, I was going to make him proud. Whenever I get home from college I play for him and on an early Sunday morning when it's just me and him that are awake in this town, the soft sound will play through our house. It's especially beautiful when rain is hitting against the glass windows.

The one thing he wants is for me to play the song him and I wrote at his funeral and I'm going to do him justice. I've been practicing every day since he told me that, sitting in the hospital as he goes through his chemotherapy. It wasn't a nice thing seeing your dad so adamant he was going to die before he could even watch me grow, the daughter he had raised all by himself, into a women. 

It was just me and him, it always has been. My mum died due to complications giving birth to me. We were in Glasgow until about two years ago, we moved up to Birmingham when I was sixteen for a new start then he got diagnosed. We have no one but each other and soon it's just going to be me. Everyone leaves me. Absolutely everyone.

College went by extremely slow and I was just looking forward to going home, making sure my dad was alright, seeing him smile whilst I play then going to the god awful party. I would show my face for an hour then go back home; my dad needed me more than those fuckers.

It was just as I was walking out of the gates I heard a drop in the little pond beside me and when I looked over, intrigued by what the noise was and probably would start laughing if someone had dropped their phone in it. My mouth parted as I saw Brad standing above it, staring at the water with a guilt stricken expression.

"I am so sorry." He immediately says and looks at me, probably sensing my gaze. "I'll buy you a new one, I tripped and it fell and fuck-"

I didn't know what I was doing until I was actually doing it, I pushed him into the pond watching him stumble in but unluckily for me he grabbed on my arm before he went down causing me to go falling down with him; luckily the water was disguising my tears. My heart had literally sunk into the deep pits of this pond. It was broken even more than it already was.

"I fucking hate you so much!" I screech as I hit at his chest, trying to keep myself afloat. "All the photos of Liv were in there!"

"Laur I'm so-"

"Do not fucking call me that." I yell, swimming to the shore and standing up, people were laughing but as soon as I glared at them they shut up. "I hope you fucking drown."

"Lauren!"

I began to run away, tears freely falling as I finally understand that I'll never see Liv again. I have one photo of her and I printed out but all the videos I had of her simply being the happy her, all the videos and pictures of us being stupid and happy were gone just like that.

They were the last things keeping her alive, the only thing letting me know that she was going to be forever with me even if it was just a few photos and videos. My whole entire life was in that phone and that was mainly because Olivia was my life, she and my dad are the only people that make me truly happy in this world. Everything felt okay when I watched the videos, I genuinely smiled when I saw them and that was very rare. The fact that I had nothing really left of her made it all too real. Too real and too painful to even handle.

She was gone and she was never coming back.

I hadn't even realised I had collapsed until I felt the pavement crush against my ribs. I was in agony, emotionally and physically. My head was spinning and I felt bile rise up in my throat.

How could someone be so fucking heartless?