First, Accept Sadness

Prologue

The Girl Who Was Afraid To Be

She speaks to me fondly of passions and talents,

guitars and stars,

then stops short

and apologoses for speaking at all.

All because somewhere in her life,

someone she loved broke her heart

by ignoring her beautiful word

and telling her to

shut up,

keep down,

nobody cares.

People aren't born sad.

We make the that way.

-Nikita Gill-

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"Let me go" she said laced with emotion.

"You know we can't do that for your own safety" the doctor replied, "just wait, it can only get better from here. You have gone so far, just come back for them. They believe in you".

"What do you know?! Have u ever felt like this?"

"Well...my..."

"I didn't think so"

"Then explain it to me what do you feel right now"

Now feeling out of words, the girl sits still in the middle of the room. In room 178, it's so bright, so white. So comforting and scary all at the same time. 

"Tell me" the doctor says as the girl continues to sit looking only at her bare feet, and play with the hem of the light blue night dress she has on. "When did it start for you" the doctor asks.

"I don't know" the girl replies as she slowly looks up at the doctor. She continues to stare in silence, almost examining the doctor. She was average an height about five foot five, dark blond hair, and a warm smile crossed her well ageing face when the hair fell out of the young girl's face. 

"What is your name, doctor? And where is Doctor Goodman?" she says slowly questioning whether she should have asked, almost as if tiptoeing on broken glass not wanting to make a wrong move.

"I'm Doctor Carson, I'll be your new doctor" she says soothingly "and will you tell me your name".

"Why do I need to tell you, I'm sure you already know"

"Then shall we get started"

"If we must"

"Can you tell me why? Why now? Why'd it take so long? I just wish to understand."

"Show no weakness" the girl mutters under her breath, barely audible.

"What was that" Doctor Carson says, curious about what is going on in this girls mind. She is just so strong yet fragile, like she is going to fall to pieces at any moment; with her silky dark hair that falls just past her shoulders, and piercing eyes that are shining from the merging tears that threaten to break free at any moment.

Looking like a glass doll the girl, still looking down, opens her mouth as if to speak but nothing comes out. She tries again but she can not it is all so much, so they sit in silence till she looks up, looking right at Doctor Carson as if looking for something. 

"My name is Julia Anne Simmons, and you have come to see what has ruined me. To hear my story, as many have tried to understand but nobody does nor can they. So I ask you Doctor Carson what do you seek?" she says steadily as if she had said it a thousand times, and now getting up she heads to a frozen Doctor Carson "Once again I ask you, what do you want. Do you wish to study me like a lab rat? Believe me when I say I will--"

"I wish to save you" Doctor Carson says, taken back by what she says Julia freezes and just looks at the doctor questioningly. "I mean no harm" raising her hand "I promise".

"Then I shall start from the beginning. But first remember how beautiful sadness can be, like sad songs. Don't avoid it, but feel it because feeling anything is good, even if it is just sadness."