Fading (Completed)

1:Fading

WARNING: This was the first novel I have ever written, meaning it's not the best. Hopefully soon I will be completley RE-WRITING  Fading, fixing the plot (less cliche). I hold Fading close to my heart because this is what started me on my writing journey :) so enjoy.

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1 Have you ever had a dream where you are falling? That second of fear that burst through your body.

Well that dream sums up my life, I am constantly falling...

I'm not your usual problematic teenager.  I have a family, two parents who are happily married, and friends.

Then why does it feel so fake?

Until he came...a light in the dark, ironically he was far from the light.

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 FADING 
CHAPTER 1

I feel it, the destructive pain that follows me. My only escape is sleep, dreamless sleep. A state in which I'm numb to everything around me including the past which left scars under my skin, the numbness is a distraction. I feel dead within the silence of my separate reality, it's the last piece of good I have within this life which was given to me.
But sleep doesn't last; every teen within the education program has the great honor to wake up to an alarm clock, blasting out a sound which most likely came from hell.  But that isn't the worst part; it's what comes after the beeping. High school.
A loud groan escaped my lips as I lazily flipped over on my stomach to stare at the flashing red numbers coming from my alarm clock, I couldn't bring myself to get up and start the day. I wanted to stay buried within my covers and sleep.
The awful sound was still blasting through my room, but I have grown so accustomed to it that I barely flinched. Slowly I extended my hand and touched the hard plastic of the clock, looking for the button to silence it. Finally the beeping died down making my room hollow with silence.
My arms pushed myself up off the bed; sadly I wasn't fully awake adding on to my clumsiness. My feet tangled in the bed sheet sending me face first onto the hard wood floor. I landed with a loud thud onto my back, my eyes trailed up to the ceiling in defeat. The odds were against me today.
Pain shot through my bones as I got up off the floor and rested my back against the bed. I was probably the first one up, mom had come home late, drunk and with smeared lipstick. My father was hard at work with his secretary in bed. It's a sad life my parents live; I don't think they've ever felt love for one another.
They married because of wealth; my father is vice president of a large software company giving him a fat income which attracted my mother, along with his secretary. I refuse to follow their path into the miserable lives they have. But I'm just as bad as they are, I've become indifferent to life and its punches, because enough is enough.
I looked around my room which was relatively neat...I suppose. My eyes landed on an orange container which had various pills inside, my parents expected me to take them due to my supposed depression. I closed my eyes, shutting out the various images flashing through my mind, I tried to arrange my hazardous thoughts but it was no use.
I must be crazy, it's only seven thirty in the morning and I'm already falling apart...weak girl. When you have no one to talk to, life becomes difficult. Emotions bottle up making every millimeter of your body want to explode, but I hold it in. I let the emptiness eat me because that's what needs to be done.
I need to put a mask on, act for the crowd. Face them with the illusion of who I am and what I'll become.
I'm Skylar: happy and average.
 No, I'm Skylar: lost and numb, looking for hope.
But they don't need to know that. You need to blend in if you want to survive.
Rolling my eyes in annoyance, I dragged myself over to my closet, which had a neat array of plain clothes. My fingers skimmed over the fabric, carefully choosing an outfit for the day. As much as I believe in "blending in" I also think that you should do your best to look presentable, I know it's dumb.
I pulled out a scuffed up pair of black skinny jeans along with an oversized sweatshirt, which was given to me from Mia our old housemaid, she quit just a few months ago, my father was getting to "friendly" with her. Stripping off my pajamas, I pulled on my new outfit, and tied my long hair up in a messy pony tail.
I turned on my heels and walked over to my desk where school papers were scattered everywhere. I shoved everything into my backpack when suddenly I realized I had forgotten about my science project due Friday, which was today. I'm positive I will be getting detention.
I pulled open my desk drawer just in case I forgot anything when suddenly I saw his picture hidden within the random objects I had put into the drawer. The past crept up on me slowly and painfully making my body buzz with fear.
It's funny how easily I can remember him and the guilt his memory brought. I hadn't noticed my eyes watering and my hand frozen in mid air, I slammed the drawer shut angrily before rushing out of my room. The hallway felt empty, a heavy silence filled the atmosphere. My eyes caught sight of my drunken mother who was sprawled out on her bed, snoring loudly.
She looks like a train wreck, her short blonde hair is scattered across the pillow resembling that of a bird's nest. And her light blue eyes were stained with the mascara she had applied the previous night. I still had no idea how she had come home before Dad.
Even though I had grown used to her indifference to me, it still hurt. She never talks to me or asks how I'm doing....no, she just sends me to doctors which doesn't help me in the slightest.
I ripped my eyes off of her and walked down the stairs, my hand dug into the railing, my fingernails made marks across the wood. The morning had already taken a toll on my emotions.
I walked into the kitchen suddenly stopping in my tracks. I saw the devil herself, Heather. She was staring off into space. Heather looked as bad as our mom. Her red lipstick was smeared across her face and the skimpy skirt she's wearing was riding up her thighs.
Heather looks a lot like me when she isn't wearing any makeup. Both of us inherited bright green eyes from our father along with strawberry blonde hair from our mother. We were the picture perfect family, adding the lying, cheating, pills and alcohol.
 "What time did you get back last night?" I asked, waking her up from her dazed state.
Heather glared at me before her eyes landed on the coffee machine. She got up and walked passed me.
"None of your business" She spat.
My eyes clenched shut as I took a deep breath, Heather wasn't always like this. She used to be my best friend, Heather practically raised me. My parents obviously weren't qualified. But of course, nothing good lasts. Heather is the perfect example of a lost cause.
She used to be a good girl, pure, and innocent. Until her "oh-so perfect", jock boyfriend Ricky (I still remember his stupid name) asked Heather for sex. My sister was dumb, she thought he was "the one" when obviously he was just a horny teen.
She had given him sex, and as expected, he left her for Tracy Spint a week later. He left her lost and stripped from her innocence. Time passed. More boys noticed her and my poor naïve sister thought she had a second chance at love, when really all they saw was the girl that put out.
Now Heather is notorious for her promiscuous actions and party girl attitude. Luckily I don't have to see her personally since she is nineteen and I'm seventeen. She now goes to community college. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the old her.
I sighed before walking out of the kitchen leaving Heather and her hangover attitude behind. I had forgotten about breakfast....
My high school was only ten minutes away walking; I obviously couldn't catch a ride with my parents due to their drunken and almost non-existent presence in my life.  My high school is pretty average...just like me.  I have a few friends, which I never really connect with. I'm not an exceptional student, yet I will probably get into a good college (thanks to my families connections). I have everything planned out for me, as if I can't escape.
 It feels like I'm faking my entire life. Every paradigm I live by isn't truly mine; instead it feels like I'm gasping for the clean air I will never receive.  I want to know why. Why can't I have something that doesn't crumble into dust, why does every little action feel so difficult?
That's what hurts the most, the difficulty hidden behind every second of my life. I wish so badly to go back in time and warn myself about the things that were going to happen. How I was going to die within. Sometimes, the guilt hurts so much I would rather die than have to face it. But I made a promise, and I'm not going to break it. All I want is relief from the pain that reality gives me, like poison being injected into my veins, now flowing in my blood; it's a part of me. Pain is now who I am, I want something I can't have, happiness.
Before my thoughts could go any further I was ambushed by Carrie, a friend I had made over the years of being locked up in a classroom. She smiled widely before jumping up and down like a hyperactive kid.
"I was invited!" She screamed waving her hands in the air.
I scrunched up my face and cocked my head to the side. "What are you talking about?" I asked.
Carried rolled her eyes "To spring formal! God Sky, sometimes I think you're deaf. Everyones' talking about it." She answered as if spring formal was the cure to all her mediocre problems.
"Who asked you?" I was referring to her date.
"Josh Downey, I only say yes to the best!" She winked at me before wrapping her arm around mine.
Of course Josh Downey asked Carrie, she was definitely pretty and mixed in with the popular crowd, that's why I wonder why she talks to me.
Carrie was your typical bubbly girl, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a fit body. Josh was a jock A.K.A: an asshole. Yea Carrie! (Please note the sarcasm.)
"All we have to do is find you a date" Carrie said, more to herself then me.
I didn't want to tell Carrie that spring formal or any school dance at all went against everything I believe in. Instead I kept my mouth shut and focused on our school building. Students were running in and out messing around with friends, various couples were making out whilst teachers desperately tried to pull the hormonal teens apart.
We finally made our way inside the school where even more students reside; I pulled away from Carrie giving her a small wave before making my way to my locker. I glanced at a few students who were raving about how wonderful this year would be. Honestly, I think this year is as non- eventful as it gets...but that's just me I guess.
My dull expectations came crashing down when I saw who was standing in the main office. My body started to buzz, bones became nonexistent, and every thought I had disappeared into the nothing replaced by the blue of his eyes. Within a millisecond I could feel everything, everything. My skin began to prickle, I could feel air fill my lungs then seep out slowly, I could even feel the slight breeze blow between each individual strand of hair.
Who was this boy? His dark brown hair stuck out in every direction, his tall strong body was so sure of himself, and the thing that stood out the most was his eyes, they seemed an unnatural shade of blue that could stop anyone in their tracks.
Whoever he was, he was looking right at me. He wasn't smiling, no, he was just watching. Making me feel like a piece of art in a museum, everything disappeared. It was just me and his haunting eyes.
Maybe this non-eventful year will be saved.

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A/N : hey! i hope you enjoyed it! please vote, comment and fan!

EDIT: I have re-written this chapter, the next chapter will also be re-written and should be up sometime this week. Thank you for all the support i have gotten for 'Fading' I hope you enjoy this chapter new and improved!

- Andromeda <3