most likely goodies ; an update book

unfinished things

here's a compilation of unfinished, short projects i had that i found on my computer

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violent blues (last edited 06.28.17)

unoriginal.

brice slams his hand on the alarm clock perched on his nightstand. he takes a sip of the half-filled glass of water that's sitting dangerously close to the edge; it's a better "pick-me-up" than coffee in his humble opinion. he decides that he'll wear his blue flannel that compliments his eye color, along with his favorite black jeans. every wednesday he wears some kind of blue shirt, just to keep things organized and tidy.

the shirt doesn't take long to button, and this time he puts it on correctly. it has a snuggly fit on his shoulders, though saggy around his torso. he gazes into the mirror and smiles at his reflection. he's perfect—conceited as it may be sounding.

~

alluring (last edited 07.31.17)

Life is like a swing; it constantly manipulates itself in moments of launching upwards and spiraling downwards.

When you're launching upwards, it feels like you're at the peak of existence. Your senses heighten and you're more aware of what's going on around you. It's better than a buzz of coffee at two in the morning, or any happy pill. It's a genuine type of joy, not artificial.

When gravity begins to pull you back down in the direction you came, it causes a tightening feeling in your chest. You want to stay in that euphoric stage, otherwise known as that pleasing emotion that causes you to feel weightless. Unfortunately, you can't. Nothing lasts forever. You can't relive those happy moments no matter how hard you try. They're genuine, not artificial.

However, unlike a swing, you can't go back and fourth between ecstasy and despondency every ten seconds. That's not how life works.

Ecstasy and despondency can range from just a few minutes to over a year. Everyday could seem like a blissful dream that you wouldn't want to wake up from, or a putrid nightmare that you'd want to escape from.

It's just how life works.

You can't hop away or stop life, either. Unlike a swing, it'll keep going until you inevitably die of old age, an illness, or some accident. Hell, maybe even by your own hand. In the end, you'll be six feet underground with a gravestone signaling your previous existence to future generations who will, most likely, not care.

In summary, it's inevitable.

And no, I'm not the pessimistic type (well, maybe I am, but that's aside from the point I'm trying to convey). I'm stating facts that most deem "relatable," but don't want to admit.

Contemplating too much about things beyond the present is something I find myself dabbling into nowadays. It's always at the back of my mind, and sometimes it's expressed on a canvas. I tend to take the euphoric moments of life for granted and only live in the despondent ones.

You know when your teachers teach you about the circle of life? The lifespan of some dumb animal you probably don't care about? Human existence has those stages (birth, life, and inevitable death), but of course you can't tell that to a bunch of seven year olds sitting in a classroom. You sugarcoat death, that's just how it works.

My point is that life is a non-tangible object to treasure and discuss with others. That statement has been my rule for the past twenty two years of my life. I'm not the socialist myself, but at least I try to be. Unlike those hermits on Tumblr who whine about life, I'm trying to live mine.