Numb Pain

Chapter 12

So we reached 26 votes! WOW! We're actually so thankful for the ongoing support that has been coming our way recently, so we're releasing four chapters in aid of this!

 

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ELLIE'S POV:

He picks me up and I sink deep into his arms, no thoughts in my head, only the desperate plea to feel warm flesh against my own, to know that no matter how alone I feel in my head, I'm not alone in truth. He is there, I can feel him, against me and uneasily comforting. My eyes flutter open just momentarily, and I watch as a solitary tear slips its way down Jai's cheek, merging with my own as he kisses my jawline. I grimace, pushing a hand up to wipe the tear tracks down the boy's face, before sleep drags me down into a deep abyss of black.

~~~~~

I awake restlessly in the early hours of the morning, horrified by Jai's arms hooked around my shoulders. I don't remember anything that happened last night, only that my body, as always, is littered with crimson bruises, sickening yellow patches and shallow cuts. A difference in today is the blood smeared across my nose, neck and arms. My mind is blank, but with the pain that savages through every bone and muscle in my body, I know yesterday was bad. Bile rises in my throat as I watch the sleeping body by my side, and despite the bags underneath his eyes that prove he has only just found the safe haven of sleep himself, I'm sickened by him. "How dare you sleep peacefully having done this to me." I curse at a whisper, lifting myself with a pained grunt from the mattress. It's 3am, but the pain shuddering through my body determines that I won't return to sleep, and so I throw the duvet from my figure, pushing my feet to find the floor. It takes a few minutes to stand, finding support in the bedside table and bedroom wall, but I cannot stay in the same room as this monster who dares sleep in the same bed as me after practically tearing my flesh apart. I take no care in making my footsteps quiet; either he will awake and end my agony in blind rage, for once and for all, or his slumber will continue, oblivious to my escape. Each individual stair creaks with the gathered pressure of my weight, for I've lost the strength to even hold myself. My head is swimming, absent of the ability to form coherent thoughts. I barely make it to the living room before black gathers in my peripheral vision, threatening darkness and the relief of this living nightmare. The room spins around me and my elbows hit the rough carpeted floor, trying and failing to stop my head from smacking against the coffee table. As the black tendrils of torture creep through my vision, I whisper, my voice like that of an impending doom, "I'm done for."

JAI'S POV:

 

I escape from my slumber, troubled by nightmares, and distinguish the emptiness beside me. Oh god...she's left me. That is the first thought that enters my head as I stand up, dizziness spreading through me. My face is dry but cracked with tear stains and I stare at the vanity table, at the dark rings hanging from my eyes. I clamber towards the stairs, crying her name. I cannot lose her again. I can't. My face swells with regret and despair. I slump against the wall, head in hands. I let out loud, trembling sobs as the torture reaches me. I am alone. My angel has flown away for the last time. I'm sure of it.

~~~~~

I stay like that for what seems like hours before lifting my sorry ass to the stairs. I need a drink, and quick. My dad dealt with it in the same way, after mum left. I was only young at the time but alcohol seemed to solve all of his problems. So why does it just fill me with more pain and grief? I almost topple down the stairs in my state. The light is on. I frown as I walk into the living room. I gasp and start to uncontrollably sob. For there, lying on the ground, is Ellie with her head leaking blood. I crawl to her side, cradling her head and kiss her hair. Her lips are discoloured. You stupid, stupid idiot Jai! I feel for my phone with trembling hands and dial the emergency number. I speak fast into the phone, my heart pounding as tears stream down my face. My beautiful love. "Please hold on Ellie..." I whisper to her as I place her head into the crook of my arm, her body draped over my lap. I throw the phone to the wall and it cracks. "What the fuck have I done?!" I scream.

As the blaring sirens of the ambulance approach, I carry her out in a disorganised stride. I sink to my knees and cry into her shoulder. She is pried from my grip and given oxygen before being carted away on a stretcher. Paramedics crowd round me, offering their help. I wave them away with each shuddering scream that overpowers my mind. I stay knelt down, shaking with each breath I take. The flashbacks begin as I remember each hit, each fist connecting with her face, each kick to her gut. Except it feels like my lights are fading as I place my forehead on the concrete path. The ambulance has finally left, leaving me with my guilt. They have tried to comfort me but I just pushed them away. They don't understand, nobody understands. Apart from Ellie. The longing for my mother to hold me and tell me I'll be okay gnaws at me, but she has left. She abandoned me a long time ago. My last motive to stay alive was Ellie. Now she's gone, and it's all my fault. I've fucked up, and I don't know how else to correct it.

I leap into the car, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I will find her, or die trying. I speed along narrow roads, and my face is set in a determined look. I grip the steering wheel, my nails digging into the rubber coating. I love you Ellie...I love you. And that's when I connect with the other car and my body is thrown forwards. My vision blackens.

ETHAN'S POV:

Ellie's letter still lays on my coffee table, wrinkled and broken, yet saved as my only evidence of our relationship - whether or not it could be called that. Only a day has passed since she left me, and my mind tortures me with screaming images of her limp, lifeless body, laid vulnerably in a bed with Jai's heaving stature aside her. My bones wrack with convulsions, my head swimming in immediate guilt and panic. Finally, I will myself to walk outside, fumbling with my car keys and sliding into the drivers seat, somehow finding the confidence to drive to Jai's house. I'll find her, I'll save her from the misery that awaits. But what if I'm too late?

As I turn the final corner to the quaint, small house in which Jai and Ellie reside, a flash of ambulance lights glitter through the dark, unmoving street. It's so unusual for there to be such commotion at this time of night, but I immediately know what's happened. No one can hear me, but what does it matter? "ELLIE!" I cry out, my voice breaking as I scream against the fabric of my jumper, unaware of anything else around me. I press my foot to the floor, the car's wheels squealing against the dampened road as I engage in a chase of the ambulance. We reach a level crossing and the lights go red. The ambulance speeds past, but I'm not willing to break the law. By the time I'm free to move on, the ambulance is just a shimmer in the distance, though I can still reach her in time.

I grimace, racing on through the streets in desperate hope of seeing her face again. She's been comatose once, and if I have to let go for that same amount of time, I will break. I close my eyes for what seems like only seconds, but by the time I open them again, the air bag has expanded into my face and I'm thrown against the back of my seat, the seatbelt pushing forcefully into the bruises and cuts of Jai's doing yesterday. The front of my car is a crumpled mess, and I stare in disbelief at what is left of the vehicle in front. It's Jai's.