Evie's Job

93: Natalie

In the end, Natalie went home and told Evie that she’d talked to Meredith. She said that Meredith had phoned and apologised, and they had then talked a little longer, and that Meredith seemed calmer, and probably wasn’t going to do anything awful. Evie could relax, Natalie said, if she’d been worried at all.

Evie listened. She kept looking at her books, and then, when Natalie had finished speaking, she said, “Oh.”

Just oh.

“What is it?” Natalie said. “What’s wrong?”

Evie shrugged. She was studying her book quite intently. Pretending to study, Natalie thought, but she wasn’t quite sure why.

“I just thought I should tell you,” Natalie said, feeling a little defensive. “In case you wanted to know.”

“That she rang you?”

“Well, yes. You seemed worried the other day.”

Evie looked up. “And that’s all you both said? That she’s sorry and no-one’s going to be unkind?”

Natalie didn’t understand what Evie meant. “Well, yes,” she said. “Mostly, that’s all.”

“Nothing else?”

“I don’t understand.”

“There was nothing else said that I need to know?”

Natalie was confused. She shrugged, a little helplessly. “Well, no,” she said. “Just that Meredith might have reacted badly, and she’ll leave you alone.”

“Good,” Evie said, and seemed relieved. “Then thank you,” she said. “For telling me.” She sounded a little strange.

“What’s wrong?” Natalie said.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Something is, but I don’t know what.”

Evie looked at her, thinking, as if deciding whether to answer. Natalie needed an answer, she needed some explanation, because she didn’t understand what was happening. Something was obviously wrong. Evie was worried, or hurt, or upset, but Natalie couldn’t even decide which of those it was.

She decided to guess, because she was so concerned. She guessed the most obvious thing. “Are you upset because I talked to Meredith?” she said.

Evie shook her head.

“But you are upset,” Natalie said.

“I’m not upset with you.”

“But you are upset,” Natalie said. “So could you tell me? Please?”

“I don’t know if I should.”

“Please do,” Natalie said, hoping Evie would. She didn’t want to become irritated with Evie, too.

“It’s just,” Evie said. “I don’t think you should keep talking to Meredith. I don’t think she’s very good for you, that’s all.”

There was something quite odd, Natalie thought, that Meredith was telling her how to be with Evie, and Evie was doing the same about Meredith. It was odd, and a little exasperating, but it was also probably a fair point to make, at least when Evie did so.

“I don’t either,” Natalie said. “Think she’s good for me.”

Evie looked up. “Oh.”

“I honestly don’t know if I want to talk to Meredith very much at all,” Natalie said. “She’s hurt me a lot, and she keeps doing it, and sometimes she isn’t a very nice person.”

“But all the same you keep talking to her. Like today.”

“Today I did, yes.”

“Perhaps you should stop,” Evie said. “Just maybe.”

“Well, she phoned me. And in a lot of ways it’s easier to get on with her, than to push her away and start a fight and keep on hating her every day of my life.”

Evie thought for a moment. “You hate her?”

“Sometimes? Yes.”

“I would too,” Evie said, and got up, and came over, and kissed Natalie for a moment. “Be careful of her.”

“I will.”

“Just do, okay?”

Natalie nodded.

Evie went back to her reading, and didn’t say anything more about Meredith. She was concentrating, Natalie thought, lost in her books, making notes about intellectual property law. They had dinner, and Evie still didn’t mention Meredith, not while they ate, and not afterwards either. She didn’t mention Meredith again until hours later, when Natalie had gone to bed, and Evie had followed her in to say goodnight. Then, Evie sat on edge of the bed, and seemed to be thinking, and Natalie looked at her, waiting, wondering what Evie was about to say.

“I’m sorry about before,” Evie said. “I got a little weird.”

“Don’t be. And you didn’t. And you don’t need to say sorry for anything.”

“I do,” Evie said. “I was weird. I had a horrible feeling you were going to say you’d decided to get back together with Meredith or something.”

Natalie was stunned. She was so surprised she was speechless. She didn’t have words, so she leaned forward and hugged Evie instead. She held onto Evie for a moment, then let her go. “Why would you think that?” she said.

“You were married to her. That’s kind of a big deal.”

“Not married,” Natalie said. “We were never married.”

“Same as.”

“And then we weren’t. Then she left me. So that doesn’t count any more.”

“She still says she’s your wife.”

“She does,” Natalie said. “Yes she does. She means ex, though. She’s just being… I don’t know, lazy.”

“No she isn’t,” Evie said. “She’s playing some kind of game. She’s doing it on purpose, to make a point to everyone who hears her. Like me.”

Natalie was surprised Evie had noticed, but knew she was probably correct. Meredith was like that, Natalie thought. Meredith was exactly like that. Meredith constantly played odd little games, games such as making people take uncomfortable chairs in meetings, or sit facing into the sun. Now that Natalie thought about it, deliberately misusing the word wife was exactly the kind of thing that Meredith would do.

Evie was right that it was deliberate, Natalie thought, but she wasn’t right about why. Meredith didn’t mean anything by her games. They were simply a habit, how Meredith was. Evie was there, and faintly irritating to Meredith, so Meredith tried to upset her. It didn’t mean anything more that that, and certainly didn’t mean that Meredith wanted Natalie back. Meredith didn’t. Natalie was almost sure of that.

Natalie looked at Evie, trying to decide what Evie was feeling. Whether she was hurt or angry or something else entirely. Evie was quite self-controlled, so it was sometimes difficult to guess her mood. She was either upset that Meredith was being hurtful for no real reason, or she was angry Meredith was claiming something that was no longer hers. Natalie couldn’t decide. She would have to ask.

“That bothers you?” Natalie said.

“Of course it does. It bothers me because it might mean she wants you back.”

“She doesn’t,” Natalie said. “She really doesn’t. She might be playing some kind of game, but she doesn’t want me back.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” Natalie said.

“Well I’m not,” Evie said.