Fear of Dogs - Cynophobia

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Do you have a fear of something that most people find beautiful, loyal and protective? Well, I do and my fear is of dogs

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Do you have a fear of something that most people find beautiful, loyal and protective? Well, I do and my fear is of dogs. It's a common enough fear for some people, they might be afraid of a certain size, breed or color, for me it's all of them. I will completely shut down and freeze in fear at the sight of a dog.

I know exactly where and when this fear took over my life. When I was six years old, I was sent to live with my grandparents on my dad's side. My mother was going through a difficult time that summer with codependency, finding work and her second husband was no help. I wanted to live with my dad but he was in the Army deployed to somewhere in Central America and my step-mom was also in the Army but couldn't get me right away.

Right after school finished for the year, I moved in with my granny and grandpa. They were both from the deep south and everyday church goers. My grandpa was a preacher and my granny was the Sunday school teacher. I found out right after I got there that she had this old as dirt chihuahua, named Sandy, that had a mouth full of snaggle teeth.

That little ball of terror made my life a living hell. No one would believe me that she would go out of her way to bite me all the time and there were times where she would sneak up on me while I was playing to attack me and run. One time I was playing with my cousins on the swing set and I was being pushed by my older cousin. As he went to push me a little higher, Sandy ran out from under the trailer to run between his legs causing him to trip into me. I sent sailing out of the swing and broke my arm in 5 places.

As I was being taken to the van to go the hospital, she jumped out of the window and attacked my broken arm which had to have 3 stitches and a cast for two months. My grandparents had told my step-mom about the accident and after my week stay in the hospital, she had come down to visit with us. She saw how the dog acted around me and after she got back to her base, contacted my dad about the situation.

From that point on, I lost weight because I was too scared to come out of my room and started to get very sick. A few months later, my dad got back from his mission and came to Florida to get me. I moved in with them in North Carolina. It was beautiful there and I felt that my fear of that monster would be over. I was wrong, my parents had a German Shepherd and Lhasa apso. From the start, they would follow me around me the house. I couldn't go into another room without one of them being there watching me.

Soon after Christmas, I was put on anxiety and antidepressant medication because I would freeze up and go into a full meltdown if the dogs got too close to me. Over the years, it has gotten worse, I have had to move often if a neighbor got a dog. The apartment building that I'm in now only allows one dog per apartment and they have to be under 25 lbs.

Whenever I leave my building, I can feel eyes following me everywhere I go and I swear that the same pack of dogs follow me around in the dark alleyways. There have been times that I have heard growls and snarling in the alley beside my building and have asked the neighbors about it. No one hears them or sees them but I have nightmares every night that dogs are attacking me. I wake up in a full panic and will call 911 to have them check for the dogs.

Last week, I had finally bought a car because I was so afraid to walk down the streets anymore and parked it in the garage that is connected to the building on the opposite side of the alley. Another building also shares the garage and we have to rent out our spot. So, the next day after I bought my car I went down to get it and found it a smashed up mess. All 4 of my tires were shredded, the canvas top was is tatters and all of the glass had been caved in.

There wasn't any blood or items left at the scene to show what did it but I knew it was the dogs. I called the police and had to convince them to come out that it wasn't about a goose chase to find dogs. They looked at the security footage but my parking space was behind a pillar and the camera couldn't see my car clearly. In the footage of the main gate, it shows a large pack of dogs entering the garage but they are lost after that on the camera feed.

It was put down that vandals knew where the camera where and avoided them to bash up my car. I knew that it was the dogs that it to my car, the insurance company is paying off my car and sending a rental that will be here next week. I was looked at like I was crazy when I told the police that I thought it was the dogs and not vandals that had destroyed my car. My boss gave me my sick leave of one week so that I didn't have to walk to work or have to take a cab.

When my week was up, I still didn't have a car because the insurance adjuster forgot to put in my address, so a car was never delivered to my building. I went upstairs to ask my new neighbor if she could give me a ride to work. As I was talking to her, her huge vicious dog came at me barking and snarling trying to get at my legs. I freaked out and screamed at her about having such a huge nasty dog. She replied that I was crazy that her dog was kind and old and would never hurt anybody then slammed the door in my face.

I reported her and her dog to the building manager, to which he was surprised to hear about it. He told me that it couldn't have been her dog because he was old and little. I asked if she could have brought in another dog if her had been that old she could have replaced it with another. He denied that she would break her policy because she needed the apartment. I was confused by his reactions to my description of the dog, I know what I saw and that dog is a menace.

I eventually make it to work by getting a cab and ended up being half an hour late to get a half-hearted reprimand from my boss. The rest of the day went by without anything else happening and I got a ride from my co-worker. We had dated briefly a few months ago but he wanted kids and dogs, both of which I'm not interested in. We are still friends and he had moved on to another girl in a different department.

After he dropped me off, I went straight to my apartment and walked to my bathroom stripping off my clothes as I went. I toss them in the overflowing basket and know that I will need to do laundry later today. There was a message on my machine letting me know that the police had rounded up a large group of dogs that had been found behind the building. Some of them had parts of my canvas top still in their teeth. A full report would be released to my insurance company in the morning.

That was the best news that I had gotten in awhile and so I was able to relax in a hot bath and let my worries melt away in the steam. A while later, I get everything ready to go downstairs to the laundry room and leave my apartment. I can feel a breeze passing through the hallway that leads to the laundry room but don't think anything of it. I see that several machines are empty, so I separate my loads and put them in the machines. I get the magnet for my apartment number and put it on both machines. We do this so we know who's clothes are in the machines.

Just as I am about to close the lids and start the washer, I hear a clicking noise coming down the hallway towards the room that I'm in. At first it is just background noise until its right outside of the closed door. I hear scratching at the door followed by loud growling and a slobbering noise. I spin around so fast that I become dizzy for a second as I realize that there are a pack of dogs in the hallway. It's the only way out and I can't open the door, that would let them in. The scratching is getting worse as I hear more and more dogs attacking the door.

I try to move the dryer in front of the door but it is bolted to the floor and so is the washer. I see the middle of the door start to give a little as they throw their bodies at the door. I look for my phone but I had left it upstairs since my sundress didn't have pockets. I start screaming as loud as I could for them to go away and hope that someone hears me.

I feel a heavy weight form on my chest and a tingling, numbing sensation travel down my left arm. I have to calm down, I think that I am having a heart attack but I can't stop screaming for them to go away. I am so scared of what is about to happen that I can't think about trying to find somewhere to hide. Just as I about to lose consciousness, I see the door give out from the weight of the dogs. So many rush into the room that it fills my vision as the first dogs sprints to me and starts tearing into my flesh. I can feel my bones breaking and my skin and muscles being torn from my body as I am eaten alive.

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