Your Darkest Fear

Fear of Small Spaces - Clastrophobia

As a little boy I had a severe anxiety attack when we got into the car to go school shopping for kindergarden and my parents just chaulked it up to me being fussy. I couldn't ride the bus because I had another attack when I saw of how small the seats were and how close they were together. After the panic attack on the bus, my parents took me to a doctor to find out what was wrong with me. They were told that I had Claustrophobia, a fear of small or tight spaces. I was put on a medication for it but I wasn't allowed back on the bus because I had scared the other kids.

Every day before school I had to take my medication so that I would not have bad attacks in the car or in school. My parents had to take me to school every day until just after my 8th birthday, I came home from school with my mom to find all of my things packed and my doctor waiting for me with my dad. It had become such a burden to my parents because I would have panic attacks in the bathroom, if one of them walked to close to me or they tried to hug me. They were always fighting about what to do with me and how to handle my next attack.

I lived at the Wilcox Children's Mental Hospital for the next 10 years until they could no longer legally keep me there after I turned 18. I keep my monthly appointment with my doctor to see how I am doing. A few months ago I met and married a wonderful woman that worked at the hospital as a nurse. She is very understanding of my condition. Today we are looking at a new apartment since the one she has is very small. I really like this new place we are looking at because it's on the first floor with stairs and an elevator, although I will never use it.

The apartment had vaulted ceilings and an open concept bathroom, that means it doesn't have any walls separating it from the bedroom, at least that's what the realtor told me. I get to the building and look up to see that it looks to have about 12 floors with a penthouse on top. I get a heavy feeling in my chest and start sweating all over just thinking about being an elevator going to the top floor. I push the button for the apartment that I was to meet the realtor at to let him know that I am here. I hear the buzzer that unlocks the door and push to go into the building.

The foyer is beautiful with it's green and black marble floors, a tan color on the walls with hand paintings of different kinds of scenery and 25 mailboxes on the wall that have ornate brass doors. It takes my breathe away with how big the space looks but as I pan the rest of the room, I see a sign on the stairs. It says that the stairs are off limits due to renovations of the first through fourth floor stairs. I look at the elevator off to the side and I feel faint thinking about having to get in it to go up one floor.

I keep telling myself that its only one floor and before I know it I will be out of it. I see a young woman and man exit the elevator and give me a strange look. I can guess that I look pretty out of place with the look of horror on my face as I stare at the elevator. So, to make a better impression of myself, I nod my head and smile just before the doors close. I grab my chest and just don't think about the small space. I hit the 1 button just above the L button for lobby.

I try to keep focused on the light as it leaves the L and moves to the 1, I go to step forward but the door doesn't open. I really start to panic when the 2 next lights up. I hit the emergency button but nothing happens. I try the phone but all I hear is a static message that someone will be right with me in the order that the call was reeived. I hang up and try my cellphone, as soon as I swipe the screen, I see the dreaded message, No Service Available.

I turn around in a full circle looking at the wallso f the elevator, they are made out of cloudy glass and I can see hundreds of myself fading off into the nothing. Just as I am about to drop to the floor and curl into a little ball, I see a shadow pass behind me. I freeze in terror because there wasn't anyone else in the elevator. I hear the ding to chime in the next floor and see the 3 light up. I start frantically hitting the 4 button but it just lights up and then fades away to light up the 5.

I look again around me because it is starting to get cold in the elevator and I swear that the shadow passed behind me a again. I have no idea where the elevator is going to stop so I just lay on the floor, take another pill, without water, and keep telling myself to think about one of the paintings from the lobby.

The elevator dings a few more times and I just keep shrinking more and more into myself holding my knees as tight to my head as I can. Suddenly the elevator comes to a stop and I look up to see that the penthouse button is lit up but it needs a key to open from the inside. All of a sudden the door opens to reveal a long hallway with a light at the end. I want to leave the elevator so bad but the hallway is so narrow that my shoulders would touch both sides.

The light starts to flicker on and off in the elevator , as I glance up at the light I see the shadow just to my left looking down at me. I run from the elevator, as soon as I exit, the doors close, I don't want to think about the narrow hallway so I run as quick as my shaking legs let me. I burst through the door at the end to fall on my face as the blinding light hits me in the eyes. I hear whispers all around me but can't really distinguish what is being said.

A hand appears before my face to help me get up off the floor. I accept the help and stand up to come face to face with the realtor and others that I don't recognize. He turns to the others and says "See, I told you, he is ripe with fear. I could taste it on him the last time we talked." He walks behind me to sniff my head and I try to move away but he has a firm grip on my arm. He comes to a stop in front of me and I can see the saliva forming in his mouth and can hear the others smacking their lips.

"He has poison is in his blood, we will have to wait until it is out of system. I give it a couple of days and he will be pure of blood and flavored with fear." I try to scream out but a mask is thrown over my head with breather holes for my nose only. It is pulled tight and tied behind my head, handcuffs are put on my wrists behind my back to connect to a chain to the cuffs around my ankles. I am picked up by the chain and carried into a room, I can hear the door open and then close behind us.

I am laid in some kind of porcelain box, maybe an old bathtub, the person holding me steps back "Fear makes the meat so sweet, tender and juicy. You will be enjoyed by many for a long time. We haven't had someone who had so much fear built up in them."

A long time has passed with me laying in this tub waiting for my end, my medication wore off hours ago and I know my time is almost up. The tub is so small that I can feel all of edges as I lay here and my heart is beating so fast, there is a heavy weight on my chest, my whole body is covered in sweat and I know that I have passed out a couple of times since I have been in here. I hear someone come into the room with something make a swishing sound like two knives being scraped acrossed each other.

I feel something very cold touch my wrist where the end of my sleeve is and feel the material being pulled away as the scissors cut through my shirt. After a few minutes, I am naked in the tub on my back with my arms now cuffed in front of me. I still can't move very much which makes me even more afraid than I was before. The person leans down to sniff my neck and lets out a gleeful noise like that of a child about to open a present.

I hear chanting begin in another room, which I guess was the sugnal to stand me up because I am grabbed by the cuffs and lifted to my numbed feet. The mask is quickly cut off of my head, taking some hair with it. I see another peron sniffing the inside of the mask that has vomit, snot and sweat inside of it. I mild light in the room hurts my eyes as I try to look around and see a hook above me and indeed a tub without a drain below me.

The man holding me has a smile on his face that affirms my fate just as the hook is lowered and my cuffs draped over the hook. I start screaming as I am hoisted up towards the ceiling dangling over the tub. Around 20 people walk into the room with the realtor heading the group and they all stop just in front of me. Everyone turns to face the far wall as the same shadow from the elevator appears on a cloudy glass wall. As it steps out of the wall and steps up to me, I hear a great intake of breathe and a voice whisper to the group "He is ready." I close my eyes as I see the man from before step around everyone and come up behind me. The only thing I can think about is, is that I hope that I taste good.