The Lost Soul

The Past

Let us start this story right. To understand most beginnings, one must be reminded of the past.

Cian's POV:

(nine years ago)

I didn't understand what was happening. Why was mommy not moving? Why was daddy sobbing while putting her in the hole he just dug? Mommy and I just celebrated my ninth birthday a few days ago. I want to see my mommy!

My daddy drank heavily from a gross smelling bottle, getting out of the hole that mommy was in.

Was daddy mad again? Sometimes he and mommy would scream and yell and mommy would cry for me to not watch. I think daddy hurt mommy. I didn't like that. I didn't know what to do so I'd give mommy my favorite blanky and Teddy and now that I can reach the counter, I can make momma hot cocoa too! Mommy has black and blue spots all the time.

I'd ask why she was crying and she wouldn't tell me. She'd just hug me and I'd hug her as long as I could. If it made momma happy, I'd do it every second of everyday.

Daddy got mad at me a lot. He'd scream at me and call me words like faggot, ugly, little shit, cunt, bitch. He said those words so angrily, I couldn't help but guess they were bad words. They made me feel sick, but I knew mommy could get hurt if I said anything back to daddy.

I was crying really hard cause I didn't know why mommy wasnt getting out of the ground. I started digging in the pile of dirt before pain exploded in my ribs and I couldn't breathe. Spots were flashing in my eyes. Daddy just kicked me! I couldn't stop from crying out loud, even though mommy always told me not to (Daddy gets mad if I do).

"Your mother is dead boy. Get in the fucking house or I'll snap your neck too," Daddy didn't even wait before he grabbed me by my tiny neck, dragging me from my momma, tossing me into my room. My hip hurt and I didn't move. I sobbed harder, wanting my mommy.

"Shut your fucking whore mouth, cunt!"

Daddy screamed so I bit into my blanky to stop my sobs.

A year past that day. My life got significantly worse, being a slave to my father. He would beat me until I couldn't breathe. Break my bones, cut me, make me walk on glass, and burn me. I hated daddy. He killed mommy.

I didn't have any friends cause dad never signed me up to go to school. I wanted to go to school and learn! I only knew what mommy taught me and the books she was teaching me to read from.

Mommy said I was special. Dad said I was a freak. Every day for the past year, I started to believe him. In my picture books, no one looked like I did. I had silver hair and bright gray eyes. I had an imaginary friend who would talk in my head sometimes too. He said his name was Sköll and that it meant: a wolf that chased the sun.

I wasn't sure what he talked about most of the time and he said I was still too little. Momma said I need to listen to him and that I was perfectly normal. That's why he was still my friend! Sometimes I'd cry and he'd try to comfort me, but I really wanted a hug and he couldn't do that since he was in my head. I forgave him though cause he would get sad when dad would hurt me.

I had only a mattress in my room and two pairs of clothes. Dad sold all my stuff for alcohol (I read the word on one of his bottles when he passed out in the living room). Momma said I was the best reader she knew!

I didn't have any pictures of mommy cause dad burned them all. I hugged my Teddy to me and Sköll was whimpering like a doggy would for some reason. My bedroom door suddenly slammed open, making me scream in fright. My dad stood on wobbly legs, swinging his bottle wildly.