All Areas Accessed - Sequel to Access All Areas

Chapter Six

But again, Clara has other ideas. Pulling herself free of my bullish hold, she is now totally pissed. "How dare you! Firstly, you don't touch me. Secondly, I said after." Her eyes are tight with anger and her tense body looks deployed for an all-out argument with me.

That same confusion and impressiveness pumps itself all around my just as tense body.

I should be arguing back.

I should be putting her in her journalistic place.

Only, I don't.

Instead, I just quietly concede. "Fine." Then I walk away. Away from Clara, and away from an amused Will.

Yeah, all the shit that I said I've recently had harnessed to my chest?

Well, I think Clara Thorn has just harnessed herself to my heart.

**

No sooner have I sat down in my dressing room, I'm calling my mom. I need to offload my growing guilt.

I've been a dick to her. I've been a spoilt dick to Will, and an even bigger spoilt dick to Clara. I'll get to Will and Clara in good time. First, I need to check that my mom's okay.

"Hi sweetheart." Mom is using the voice that is supposed to hide the fact that she's really upset. I think I get the ability to be two different people from her. On stage, I'm Rhys Ryan the pop star heartthrob. Off stage, I'm just a man trying to shed the skin of his superstar status. Mom often hides all of her heartache behind a motherly smile, but I more than anyone, knows that a smile can hide many a thing.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Mom." Diving straight into my apology, I feel better already for saying it.

Sweetly and softly laughing, Mom's reply is veneered with her maternal love. "Don't be silly, Rhys, it should be me apologising. You have enough on your plate at the moment, and here I am worrying you over your sister. I should have waited until after your final show until I called you. Since we last spoke, I've been so cross with myself for not waiting. I'm sorry if I've ruined your last show, Rhys...truly I am."

"You've not ruined anything, Mom...I'm fine." Having this conversation, I really am working on being fine. I know that I will get on that stage later tonight and give one hell of a kick ass show that everyone will be talking about for weeks and weeks after it.

That's who I am.

It's what I do.

And I'm pretty damn good at what I do.

No matter what shit is going down in my personal life, my music always camouflages all of the drama.

"I can't wait for you to come home." Mom excitedly tells me down the line.

"Me too." I lie. I'm not looking forward to going home. I'm not looking forward to having to sort out my total screw up of a sister. I'm not looking forward to coming down from the long adrenaline high of my worldwide tour. I'm not looking forward to any of it.

The only thing that I'm actually looking forward to right now, is Clara Thorn still being angry with me when she eventually comes and sees me. "I need you to be honest with me about something, Mom?"

"Of course, sweetheart...what is it?"

"I've met this journalist. I'm not really sure what is happening, but she's been driving me crazy, Mom. There's so much I want to find out about her, but I know that I don't have time." Exhaling on a long breath, I lean right forward in my chair. "This girl is awesome, beautifully awesome, Mom. I don't know whether I should just leave things as they are or maybe try and take things further?" My voice is weighted down with such doubt. Doubt about my feelings and doubt about the actions that I make about those feelings. With my head low, pointing down between my knees, I rub the back of my tensioned neck with my stressed fingers.