Boys Don't Kiss Boys

Assistance

I'm sorry I took so long :(
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November 11, 2016

I start feeling the heat and stuffiness from the cafeteria close in on me as my friends stare at me intently.

"I uh, I've been talking to someone I guess."

Ninten and Poo rise a bit from their chairs and lean towards me. "Paula? We all know Paula-"

I cut Ninten off before he continues. "No!"

Ninten falls back a little, "Wow, sorry dude."

"No, look" I feel so stressed, ugh. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to process a sentence. "I, uhh, I've been talking to someone...kinda."

"Do they go to this school?" Poo inquires.

"Yes."

"Is she hot?" Ninten jumps from his seat.

I chuckle, not at him but on how I'm gonna answer this. I haven't really stop to think about their physical qualities, well all but one physical quality that I've been in contact with... Let's not think about that. Wait, this is pretty gay maybe I should stop.

"Hey, Ness." Ninten flicks my arm.

"Oh um, I don't- I'm not sure." I resolve to, quickly regretting my response.

"What do you mean 'I'm not sure'" Ninten bursts in to a fit of laughter.

Poo merely rolls his eyes and asks what I means by his uncertainty.

"Well, like, I've never really thought to stop and look at them." I admit. Poo nods.

"I don't know if I should even consider dating them though. They're kinda..." How can I make this related? "they uh, they're really tomboy. Like really tomboy."

"Ahhh, I see." Poo raises his head and smirks. It's not one of those ones that scare you, it's more of wholesome type. "Well, you shouldn't let that bother you. Whatever others will tell you should not affect your feelings towards whom you admire because your feelings towards them should overweight the comments of others if you truly possess a deep compassion for them."

Despite Poo's insane antics and behavior, he really is wise in nearly everything. Though I don't know why he keeps trying to hide it. He get straight A's 'on accident'. "Thanks Poo."

"No problem, Ness" he smiles warmly.

"Who is this chick anyway, Ness." Ninten asks bobbing his eyebrows.

I chuckle. "You wouldn't know."

Ninten groans. "Awww c'mon."

"No way dude." With that, I get up and leave the table.

- - -

"Lucas you good?" I hear someone come from behind me. It's Jeff. I nod in response to his comment but he doesn't seem convinced.

"C'mon you can talk to me, I completely understand if you don't wish to talk to me though" He chuckles slightly, his hands finding his pockets.

I know I shouldn't poor my heart out to him, but he's the closest person to me, plus he's just as socially inept as I am, if not more, and he's got that tone in his voice that feels sincere. "Well..." I begin.

From the corner of my eye I notice he raises his eyebrows, most likely out of shock. "...I just feel lost at the moment... Actually it's how I've felt since the beginning of the school year" I correct myself. He tries to keep a straight face but fails and frowns. Before he can get a word out I continue. "Academically I'm doing great is, I have all A's except for one B, socially is where I tend to struggle but I've gotten somewhat better...but my love life. Ugh, it's in shambles." My head lays on the outside on my palm.

"Well what about your love life makes it a mess?" He asks.

For once, without even thinking about the outcome, I continue. "It's so difficult trying to get the attention of who you like without going overboard. I just wait here, desperately hoping they find interest in me, but that could never happen!" I try to come up with a way to elaborate. "They're athletic and come from a totally different class, every time I make eye contact with them they smile and look away. You'd think that's gretpat but it really isn't. It only throws me further down the rabbit hole, and quite frankly, if I'm not getting anything from it but wasted time, I might as well try to climb out.

"You said try" Jeff cuts in before I can start again.

"Yes, I did." I sigh. "As much as I'd love to not feel these things for them, I very much do and trying to lose them is so hard when you've found so many good qualities about them." Tears form and are desperately being held back by my eye lids.

Should I really have told him I've fallen for one of the most popular guys in school? The guy that's the star of all my wet dreams, the one who plays baseball and will probably receive a scholarship off of. Yeah him. At least I left out the genders and other big give-aways.

Jeff's eyes carry pity. He holds his arms out for a hug and I gingerly accept it, tears making the shoulder of his blazer wet.

- - -

I turn the corner of a table and see something awful. Is that Jeff?

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Small I know, but I have big plans for the next chapter. Some more heat ;)))