Dan and Phil Imagines

The Basting Fic

~A/N~ This is a short and horribly creepy smut fic written for me as a joke by my friend Lauren. She annoyed me, so I am posting this as revenge. You're welcome, Lauren.

 “That’s it. I’ve officially run out of ideas. I knew this day was coming.” Emily glared at the computer, and the half finished document shehad open. Just then, she heard a shattering noise from the kitchen. Oh God. This would be her new roommate Dan, getting up to creepy shit.

Again.

 “DAN.” She called, not looking away from her screen.

 “Er. It was nothing! Quick…hide…clear it up first…”

 “I can hear you! I’m coming in!” Emily reluctantly stood and walked towards the kitchen door.

 “NO! Er. One second!”

Emily put her ear to the door, and picked up another voice, murmuring something about… a baster?

 “I’m coming in…” Her voice trailed away as she took in the odd scene in front of her. Dan was sat on the table, butt naked, holding shards of curved glass that obviously belonged to her turkey baster she had received as a gift last Thursday. On the floor, frantically picking up smaller chips of glass, was an equally naked boy Emily recognised as Dan’s friend Phil. His hand was bleeding.

 “Ah. Hi.” Phil squeaked. Emily ran from the room, and noticed that she had a message on Wattpad from her attractive and witty internet friend Lauren.

It read: I HOPE YOURE HAPPY.

She replied: *You’re