INDECENT 》Harry Styles #Wattys2018

》Chapter Fourty

'' I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's been a while since we talked properly, what about me buying you lunch so we can catch up?''

'' I have other stuff to do Lou, can't be bothered today..'' I cut myself off at the end, not really wanting to say what I just said. Louis looks so hurt by my words. I didn't mean it that way, it's just that I have other stuff to do and I don't want to have my plans ruined.

'' Oh, I see.'' He lowers his head, that Peter Pan's glance fixed on floor kills me every time and I'm sure he knows what effect does it have on me.

'' We can make it next time. I'm sorry.'' I try to recover and his face hardens.

'' Are you going to stay with Harry? That's your incumbency? '' I'd like to lie to him, but I never was the type of girl who lies to his friends unless it's necessary.

'' He just... asked me first.'' I put it simply but Louis looks so hurt it breaks my heart to see him like this.

'' Hey, I have a whole day free this friday. We can have a drink and hanging out or do whatever will please you. What do you say?'' Louis shakes his head and my heart falls. I see him slipping through my hands and there's nothing I can do or say to stop him from going away. I know he thinks I'm giving Harry all my attentions, even the ones dedicated to him, but what else should I do? Harry and i have something going on, not sure what precisely, but it's something that is absorbing us both and until we solve it, we can't risk to put anybody else at risk. I can't risk. I still remember Louis getting almost killed by the car and my mother. 

'' You could come with me?'' I say before I can even think and Louis' eyes flash into mine with hesitation.

'' No, I can't. Harry and i don't exactly get along, have you forgot?'' No I haven't, but what am I supposed to do to keep you from flying away Louis? Try to understand, that I love you and you're so dear to my heart I'll do anything to prevent you from going away.

'' Nonsense. We'll just have lunch and you both can finally talk and get your stupid masculine affairs resolved. Don't you think?''

'' I think it's the stupidest idea that has ever crossed your mind.'' He pounds looking at me sideways.

'' Well, it's not like you are going to die if you try and get along for once?''

'' Why? Why would I want to be friend with such a stupid boy as he is?''

'' No reason, Harry is my friend and I'd like for you to stop making me feel bad for caring about him. That's it.'' Louis irrupts into a loud annoying laugh, making me cringing a little more.

'' Oh sure! Friends? That's what you two call each other now? ''

'' How are we supposed to call ourselves, please do enlighten me!'' I get a little over excited and Louis never backs down from a fight.

'' I don't know, let me think about it for a second..'' he pretends to grab his chin in between his thumb and index and then suddenly blurts out: '' Fuck buddies would be a nice start, since you slept together but are just friends!'' He mocks and I become so infuriated that I let the sheets falling on the ground and i run towards him.

'' Even if we were, why would that be a problem?'' I exhale frustrated and Louis narrows his eyes in pure anger.

'' He's not right for you. He'll kill you Jade. That light you have he  is going to eat it up bite after bite." He catches my head and shakes it as if he wants to rip it off from my shoulders.

'' You can't do anything about it, I can't do anything about this. It is what it is, Louis. Get over it."

'' Are you telling me you're falling in love with him? Seriously Jade?'' He smashes his hands over his face rubbing it hard. '' Dear Lord, I won't let it happen under my eyes. Your father wouldn't have wanted this for you.''

'' Because you bloody know what my father wanted for me? Nobody knows. He was ripped away from us before we could even get there. And you were there that day, you saw how tore apart I was and still, you drag him into this? How heartless can you be? Tell me Louis, tell me what I ever done to you that you can't let it go? What is it that bothers you?'' I push him so hard he stumbles on the ground, eyes shocked, looking at me as if I wasn't really in front of him. He doesn't recognize me, I've never been this violent with anybody but I'm so far out of myself I don't even care.

'' I, was his daughter. I, was the one whom he read bedtimes stories at night. I was the one who knew him the most and I was his heart, not you okay? He might have treated you like his own child, he might have cared for you dearly. But I was the one he loved the most. Me, okay? Only me, all the time. It was my soul that got broken when he died in that stupid accident. It was me who lost a father that day. You lost a friend, that's all. Stop pretending to be part of my family, the play doesn't stand anymore."  I move past him and get out of the room, running into the next one and closing myself in it.

In a spasm of pure rage, I punch the door with both fists making it trembling under my blows before taking a deep breath and leaning in weightless. I just said very hurtful words i know, and I'm sure Louis will never forgive me for them, I wouldn't forgive myself if the roles were reversed.

'' Careful, that's mahogany.'' A husky voice irrupts in my little refuge and I startle, completely petrified. 

Oh no, not again.