[Normani Kordei]
*2 years later*
So Im officially 19.
Did I feel good?
No.
Why?
Because even though it was my birthday I find myself in the same spot I stood 2 years ago, days away from my birthday.
The bridge.
No longer a dark red but now a dull blue.
Everything is dull now.
I see her in everything. Everything. It hurts so much. I shouldnt be here. I shouldnt be awake before sunrise. But it called me. I kept peering over the bridge. 2 years ago I wouldve considered sucide. Hell, I wanted to.
But I cant.
Because Dinah wouldnt let me.
Everyday.
Everyday...
I would come down here and stand on the edge. But I keep seeing that day. Those 2 days to be specific. Where I was hit by a car. Where I forgot who the love of my life was. I couldnt fanthom why or how I could forget Dinah. But I did.
And my words had killed her.
Not physically but she came close to doing that herself.
I remember taking so much of the drug and trying to jump out the window after her. I remember my memory clearing. I remembered her.
Time was on my side that day.
I caught her when she stood on the edge. I had yanked her off and kissed her. Kissed her so hard it hurt. But it hadnt mattered. I had her.
But I didnt realise she had already done it.
She had cut herself so deeply.
All the blood...
The memory burned me with blood red.
I felt tears fall down my face.
The wind pushes my hair from my face and I see a small box in the crock of the bridge. With a frown I grab it from its hiding spot. Opening it to find a leather interior. On the lid inside is a picture of Dinah and I. Next to it are 3 spots for knives. 2 are gone.
I look down and find 4 neatly folded sheets of her perfect handwriting in cursive.
The first page clearly states: Reasons why I love her
I cant fathom life without her. I cant. The moment I laid my eyes on her I had to have her. I had to or my life would be consumed by the darkness. Her story reminds me of my dead dad who died to the drugs. My mom is in depression and everyone thinks Im a creep.
But she doesnt.
She can try to deny my love all she wants. Our love is infinet. Its our infinity now.
Normani has a billion reason to love her. Her perfect hair, sweet kind eyes full of secrets, her perfect soft lips that make me melt everytime, the sizzel within her touch that makes me feel like I live in a furnace. She consumes me.
I began crying hard when I read her long rambling lists of reasons she loves me. My tears staining the pages.
They lasted for all 3 of the 4 pages (front & back) and she had managed to fit 248 reasons. In the 4rth page was a small paragraph note she had left me.
Dear lovely Normani Kordei Hamilton,
I love you,
And I know these words are meaningless. They are merely a shout in the dark. To scream into the endless oblivion that is to come. I realise that this is my fault. My shameless love has ruined you in your family. I am sorry that this letter will and has been all over the place. My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations. I realise that you were right. The marks humans leave are too often scars. People hurt people and thats the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. But then I realised the most important thing as I wrote this letter.
It would be a privilage, Normani Kordei, to have my heart broken by you.
Will you marry
That was it. The letter ended. I set the papers down and noticed the velvet latch in the bottom. I opened it to find a small box. My heart raced faster. She had planned this. For me. And now she wouldnt be here to see it through.
But I still set the box down and took the case in my hands. Opening it to reveal a small silver ring with a diamond. The lid of the box with a note tapped to it.
"Me?"
But I hadnt read it. I didnt have the time. But I knew that voice. And I looked up to find the girl whos heart Id broken, and whod broken mine.
Dinah Jane.
-End of the Book-
