Mr. Maddox (PlusSize/BWWM)

8~

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, as I untied my tie before starting again for the millionth time. I sighed running my fingers through my hair as I tried to ease my nerves. It didn't matter how many times I gave these speeches, they still managed to make me nervous every time.

A banquet was going to be held tonight in account for our newest website that was going to launched. This had already been planned weeks before in advance, everything was already set in place. Tonight was a big deal for my company, the room was going to be filled with board members. I had to convince them that this was what they wanted, that I had just came up with the idea.

Glancing up I smiled seeing my beautiful fiance standing in front of me. She begin fumbling with the tie, manipulating it to the perfected shape.

"You're always were nervous before these events, you know"

"I can't help it, this company was given to me for a reason. I'm supposed to stress over these events and formalities, trust me it's good stress." I said while kissing her forehead.

She smiled now flattening out my ties, as if it was cover with wrinkles.

I returned her smile, grateful for the friendly gesture.

Her raven black hair with her olive skin and green eyes at one point excited me, she was the epitome of beauty. But as time passed her looks became only that, as she used my status to look down on everyone else. I've noticed this now more than ever, as she isn't acting as her usual self. I'd like to believe she wasn't a cheater, but I'd only be fooling myself. You can never truly know a person, once trust is broken that's it.

The signs were there, her lips were swollen, she had love bites that weren't placed there by me, it was obvious. If it wasn't that I could see she was emotionally detached from the relationship, it felt like we were roommates more than anything. But yet I let her continue on with this affair, I couldn't bring myself to have hate in my heart for her.

Although I wasn't in love with her, she still held a place in my heart. I'd known her since we were children, she was the woman I wanted to marry before I'd met Maisha.

The woman who haunted my dreams and kept me up at night. Her voice was enough to make me fall back asleep, and brightened my day at its worst. I wanted more than just a virtual relationship, she wasn't just my escape but my path to success. I could see something with her, that I hadn't with my own fiancé. That something was greater than wealth and money but a true partner, that person who understands you without having to explain everything to them all the time. They understood you on a deeper level, you look forward to growing old with this person.

There was still a slight heaviness on my chest, as I felt I was going to reveal a part of myself that I'd hidden for so long. It's been a while since I've felt this deeply about another without truly knowing them myself.  It was as if i knew everything about them was based on a file but little from experience. I was always on my toes, as we both anticipated each other's next moves.

I couldn't manage to break off the engagement over another woman. I wouldn't want her to battle herself or ask what she didn't possess, because I honestly wouldn't be able to answer that truthfully. Would it be hypocritical of me to do the same as she had done...They'd said countless times she was such a good woman, how did our engagement fall apartment? Was it because we both lusted after different people, I could see she wasn't in love with me as I wasn't with her. But why were we both lying to ourselves trying to keep up this facade.

The website was both a blessing and a curse, I'd gotten caught up in my own game. I was never a cheater in the physical sense of things, but mentally I was with another.