Light Journal

Gifts

So, many people asked why I gave the gifts and didn't just throw them away.  It seems to be a common theme among the unattached, those that don't put emphasis on items of significance.  I debated waiting until your birthday or the anniversary of our meeting, but I said what the heck I would get these to you and out of the way.

So, the Alocasia?  Is this rainbow?  I wonder now if you somehow just happened to have a random plant in your vehicle?  Did you run back into work?  Did you have this for me already?  Did this plant remind you of me somehow?  For what it's worth, I'll try to maintain it, but I read that it is a difficult plant to keep alive.  Thanks for that.

Now, my gifts, I wish I could hear your thoughts when you were pulling the presents out of the box, you really do starve my mind.  I could see your face from the side, I could see the distress and almost a smile.

"The Secret Garden", why not, you mentioned it so often.  I will have to go back to watch the movie, I didn't have time to read the book.  I hope you read it someday and think of me, think of all the garden like settings we walked through or by.  The ones on dodge, the garden at jp, the almost garden area near the shed at CCGC,   The gardens in the forest,  The gardens by Audubon.   I loved you more with every garden we saw because you allowed me to see the beauty once more in things so invisible to me before.

Next, I hope you realized I watched a certain movie.  I wanted to hand you these three books all at once, but alas my time was cut short.  It was a romantic gesture of flowers for the mind.  "Dandelion Wine", "White Oleander", and of course "Daisy Miller".  I wanted to read "Dandelion Wine", but I didn't have time, it's sci-fi of course.

I couldn't find just "Daisy Miller", so I bookmarked the pages, earmarked the start and finish too.  I read it.  It was short, but I read it weeks ago in hopes that we could discuss it.  It's a sad story and almost a synonym for us.  I hope you get to enjoy it.  I hope you see the symbolism of the cities mentioned, the locals visited, and the events taken.  It meant a great deal to me and perhaps I could write something similar, something about my own flower.  I've already written a few stories about you, I know you read most.  I might have to go revise a few.

I didn't give you the book on Poe.  I decided I would give that to my son instead, but I did get it for you.  I read three pieces to you and left you audios.  I hope you enjoyed that, because I always enjoyed hearing your voice... reading, talking, or just whispering to me.

The portal tapestry... well, what can't I say... a path, a woodland tunnel, and light at the end of the tunnel.  My tunnel isn't so bright, but maybe yours is.  Maybe you can take that brighter path.  I thought about the stepping stones in the image... perhaps that's all I ever was.

Lastly, the bracelet.  Even when you disappear, I look for you.  I see your pain, I see your messages that you leave out into the ether, the quantum entangled world you and I dwell in.  I hope you don't toss it or leave it in a box.  One day, maybe you will send me a photo of you holding it up to the camera, to prove you wore it.  The symbol I believe was peace or tranquility, the sea sediment jasper by Prana Heart... everyday mindfulness.  I should have bought me one, but I don't really wear jewelry and surely not bracelets.  The symbol should match one of the pictures that you bought so long ago, I wasn't certain, but I'm believing that.  I saw that you liked it and I knew two things... that you would not purchase it for yourself and that no one else would see what you truly enjoy.  So, I bought it, I bought it to give to you for you because I wanted to make sure you know that even after you choose not to see me ever again, I still could see you. 

I see you for what I know in my heart is the first soul to ever touch my heart, my soul, and my mind.  I can't see your likes anymore, I stopped making requests, if you wanted me you could have accepted.  I don't look for you, but I know you are still thinking of me, I know you still feel me as I feel you everyday.