Season 2 Ep 9

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I sat there starring at my shaky hands. My bloody hands. I began to breath deeply and started to scrub the blood away with whatever cloth I could find. The harder I cried, the harder I scrubbed. Not long after, there was a pair of hands that stopped mine. I looked up to see Clarke.

"What have I done..." I cried, "I had to, right? They would have tortured him. I had to..."

Before she could reply, one of the Commander's men walked into the tent.

"The Commander is ready to talk."

Clarke gave me a quick squeeze and I was helped out of the tent. Then, there he was again. Finn. His limp body was just laying there, with Raven hovering over him. I took slow steps towards her, choking down whatever I had left inside of me.

"Go away." She warned.

"Raven, I'm so sorry..." I sighed, clenching my jaw to hold in the tears.

"I said go away!" She shouted, giving me a shove.

A pair of grounders came to claim Finn. I watched them carry away his body, and I swear I saw his eyes open and look right at me.

****

We made camp on our way to a village. The village that Finn had killed so many of their people. The plan was to burn his body with those he murdered, in order to start a truce and get our friends out of Mount Weather. I looked around the dark forest, and there he was again. Finn's face was cold and dark, looking right at me. Octavia broke my thoughts.

"You can talk to me you know." She said, brushing her fingers through my hair, "About what happened."

"I don't know... I don't think I can." I sighed.

"Aiden, you helped him. They would have made him suffer and you made sure he didn't feel pain."

I looked into her eyes, "I hope you're right."

She let out a breath and gave me a quick kiss, "No matter what, I'm here."

"And him?" I stated, nodding in Lincoln's direction.

"He's not you, okay?" Octavia answered back quickly, "He's helping."

I just nodded and let my mind try and forget. Try.

****

Finally, we made it to the village and already there were issues. One of the villagers didn't welcome us, so Gustus beat the crap out of him just enough to make a point. Lexa handed the flame over to Clarke, saying that she would be the one to cleanse us all of the pain. As the fire grew large, I felt fingers intertwine with mine. I looked over to see Octavia looking at me, and she tried to smile at me as she wiped away the tears from my face.

After the fire fell, I stood at the ashes.

"I lost someone too." Lexa said, taking a place beside me, "Then you get over it and move on."

"How?"

"By recognizing it for what it is. Weakness."

"So you just stop caring? About everyone and everything?" I scoffed, seeing her cold face, "I could never do that."

"Then you put the people you love in danger. Your love will get them killed."

"You're wrong. My love will help keep them alive." I snapped, walking away.

****

The dinner of peace ended up not being so peaceful. Somehow, there was poison in the Commander's drink and now we were locked up for further notice. They got the bottle out of Raven's bag.

"Did you do it?" Clarke asked, walking up to Raven, "You wanted her dead yesterday."

"I'd back away if I were you." Raven threatened.

"We just need to kn-" Clarke started, before getting a punch to the face.

"She's the only murderer here!" Raven shouted, pointing in my direction.

Before I could reply, he appeared again. Looking at me with the same cold look.

"Go away." I shouted, "I had no choice. We knew what would happen."

Just as quickly as he showed, he vanished again. Octavia's face replaced where he once stood.

"Hey." she sighed, giving me a sad look.

Before anyone else could speak, the Grounders came in and took Raven away and had her tied to a tree. One by one, they slowly began taking turns by cutting her. Clarke came storming outside to join us. She had discovered Gustus was the one who tried to poison the commander, so now he was the one receiving the cuts.

"This would have been Finn..." Raven sighed, looking back at me. "You ended his suffering."

"And now I have to live with it." I replied coldly.

"The pain will go away. It has to." Clarke replied, giving me a tight squeeze.

I shook my head and let my face fall, "Pain is weakness, anyway."

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No A/N

--kelsey--

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