Terrestrial Alien ✔

Chapter 17: Queer Fear

He stops, halfway on his bike, and looks at me. There must've been something serious in my voice that tipped him off, because his face goes sober. I recall that time after our impromptu sleepover where he told me I could talk to him about anything, and for a moment I wonder if that's what he's thinking of as well.

"Get off your bike," I tell him, "This is gonna take a bit. We're walking."

Ethan looks startled. He looks at his watch as he hops off. "Uh, but Joshua—"

"I know about the time. We're probably gonna be late."

At this moment in time, I've made up my mind, and I've decided that this is important. I'm never late, but I need to talk to him about Seth.

Ethan's eyes are wide, and his mouth is slightly slack. Then he blinks and shakes his head. "Alright, uh, okay. Whatever it is, you have my full attention. Shoot."

I open my mouth to start, totally ready, and then— I can't. I choke up, I don't know where to start. "Uh..." I say idiotically, pausing, and then I curse and turn to grab my bike. "Okay," I say to him, though I'm not looking at him. "I need to tell you about something that happened to me on Saturday."

I start to walk my bike down the street in the direction of school, heedless of if he's following yet, because he will eventually, and he does. He jogs to catch up, his bike at his side as well.

"Saturday?" He pipes, "What could've... Oh, wasn't that supposed to be your date with Ying?" He glances to me, concerned, and I shake my head angrily.

"Yes, it was, she stood me up. But that's not what I'm talking about. I ended up, somehow, on a date with someone else." I scowl at the road as we walk, and as angry as I seem, my heart is racing in my chest. I'm going to tell him about Seth. I'm going to tell him about Seth. I've never, never done that before. Even if I'm not going to tell him the whole extraterrestrial bit, I'm going to tell him about Seth, Sundseth. Even my dad doesn't know about Seth.

Ethan's brows shoot up at the information. "You... you got another date? Wow, man, that's pretty amazing? I don't know how you do it, what's her name?"

My throat goes tight.

"It wasn't a she." I manage to croak, and I swear I could curse whatever deity out there that choses to make the blood rush to my face in a terrible, terrible flush.

Ethan stops suddenly. He stays surprisingly silent, and I stop a little ways in front of him, quite suddenly fully mortified as to what his verdict will be. I can't look at him. I'm afraid he'll be grinning stupidly at me, or he'll be frowning, or—

"Wow, so— they... They were a 'he', weren't they?" He asks, and I find none of the dreaded derision in his voice that I'd feared.

    I let out the breath I realise only now that I'd been holding, and I turn to face him. "Yeah, um, yeah he was." I say in one breath, "His name was Seth."

    Ethan smiles at me, and rubs the back of his neck with some awkwardness. "Well, I can't say I'm not surprised,  but that's cool, man. I'm happy for you! Did he just ask you out there or..?"

    "No," I blurt, and suddenly I don't know what I'm doing anymore. It all rushes out of me. "He was a childhood friend. I knew him for awhile, but then I sort of moved because of him, and now he's here again, and yeah, okay, so he did sort of just ask me out on the spot but it was weird, I was mad at Ying, so I said yes, and we went to the zoo and we talked, and he was really nice, and he ended up telling me he really, really likes me and I—" I stop and take a breath before I hyperventilate, and I find myself running my hands through my hair again. "Oh, God, Ethan, it was all so, so weird, and? I don't know what to fucking do."