Behind The Curtain

Chapter 16 - Show Time

We are actually going to make it. I was in complete disbelief until we got to the school gates with no more than five minutes to spare. I don't think I've ever ran faster than when we made our way to the theatres back exit. I texted Izy from the car (bad idea when you're going way above the speed limit) to open the door for us when she heard a knock. It was a fire exit after all.

"Oh my goodness. Thank god!" she screamed as she opened the door for us. It didn't take us long to get ready and soon we were standing on opposite sides of the stage, ready for our cues. I could barely see him as the lights went almost completely black in both the audience and on the stage.

The curtain began to rise and as all the spotlights, floodlights and backdrops took their place. I took a deep breath and that was it. It was as if some sort of frenzy had begun, one line after another and it was like I was living the scene we played. I took note of how big of an audience we had gathered. Family, friends, teachers, students, it was a full house, just like it was the year before, when me and Izy came to watch 'Romeo and Juliet'. Nathan was incredible, although it was as if it wasn't even him. The character of Jack had completely taken over and I was falling in love with him all over again.

The kissing scene was particularly awkward because I realised my parents were watching and knew who Nathan really was to me. Practising in private is one thing but doing it for an audience... I couldn't even begin to explain the embarrassment. But I am a professional, so I wasn't going to let that stop me. I was surprised at how calm I was, how natural it all seemed to me. I was suddenly aware that my parents would be secretly judging my performance and my mother would no doubt be crying afterwards. 

They had been packing all day so I would imagine this being a nice break from the usual. I would most likely need to finish packing my room tomorrow and I wondered if I would even have time to see Nathan. I would have to make time.

As we came to the end our the performance I felt a sudden urge to cry but I tried to ignore it. I said my last line and the lights dimmed. I felt myself exhale in relief. I had gotten through it and enjoyed every moment.

The lights came back on as we all held hands and made a line at the front of the stage. The applause was the most incredible sound I had ever heard, especially knowing that a part of it was for me. It was my applause. As I took Nathans hand we all bowed and the audience continued with their raw of clapping and cheering.  I met my parents eyes from the stage and as I had expected, my mum was crying.

Suddenly the idea of being that 'British girl' that was always going to be an outsider seemed silly and I felt like I belonged (on this stage at least), despite how cliché that might have sounded. This would also be the last time I performed on this stage because I wouldn't be here next term (or semester if you're American), I would be in Japan, finishing of my senior year online. 

I would graduate in Japan, on my own. I wouldn't be here for prom, with Izy and Nathan. I would be in Japan. All by myself. It suddenly dawned on me just how much I would miss. Just how many people I would miss.

I tried to forget this terrible thought and continued smiling as the curtain came down in front of us.

It was a relief to finally be away from the public eye. I felt like I could relax a little more. I went to the changing rooms to change back into my clothes. Everyone else was just wearing them home, after all, they could just bring them back on Monday. I was all alone in the girls changing rooms, I had Izy explain to my parents where I was.

Once I got my outfit of I chucked it with the pile of accessories on the bench and I looked at the locket still around my neck in the mirror. I was standing there in my underwear but considering it was only me, I didn't particularly care. I was glad I wore the necklace, it gave me a piece of reality to hold on to, when it seemed like everything else was going wrong.

I was so focused on the small locket I didn't even notice Nathan standing at the door behind me.

I span around, he surprised me. 

"I didn't see you there" I said, my heart racing a little too fast.

"Sorry, I can wait outside"

"Well, this is the girls changing rooms" I said, realising that I was still standing here in my underwear.

He smiled and nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. I had to respect him for that. He started to leave but I stopped him. "Wait" I said softly. I grabbed my T-Shirt from my pile of clothes and threw it on quickly.

I sat on the bench and he came to join me. "I'm going to miss you" I said, holding back tears.

"I'm going to miss you too" he said. Knowing I didn't want to hear his protests. I snuggled up next to him with my head on his shoulder. He just put his arm around me and I felt safe here. With him. It was all I needed. Some comfort.

"I love you" I whispered.

"I love you" he repeated back.

We sat there in silence for a minute and then I got up to put my jeans back on so we could make our way back to the group of parents still discussing the performance. Was it ironic that the two stars were the only two not there? Once I was fully dressed I shoved the costume into a bag and he took my hand. I dumped the back just inside the costume closet outside and we made our way back to our parents.