Behind The Curtain

Chapter 11 - Memories

As I walked into the kitchen both my parents were looking at me as if I was about to die and suddenly the smell of tacos (very American I know, but I've come to love them) wasn't the most important thing right now.

"What?" I asked a little defensively.

They both just stood there for a second, I couldn't tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing. And then my mum reached for an envelope on the side and handed it to me.

I opened it and pulled out two red tickets with 'Love On Deck' written at the top; the name of the play I'm in. I look up and my parents for a second and then back down at the two pieces of card in my hand, just below the title 'staring Elliot Faith and Nathan Ratchet'. What have I done, this must have been what Mr Rennagan was telling us today, that they sent tickets to all parents. This is what Nathan meant when he told me I should have been listening, he could have warned me. What was I supposed to say to my parents, who now know I lied to them, and who if they had known the truth, could have helped with my acting career if they knew that's what I wanted. I was waiting for them to react to what I now know they know. To tell me I should have just told them, they have every right to be furious with me.

Just when I thought their stare was too much, my mum hurried towards me and put her arms around me.

"Darling. Why didn't you tell us?" This wasn't the reaction I was expecting, especially from my dad.

"I- Well, I-" Words just weren't forming in my now very confused head.

"I get it hun" my mum reassured. "You wanted to do it on your own". My mum had tears in her eyes. None of this was making any sense.

"I'm sorry" I managed to say. "I- I just wanted to prove that I didn't need you to offer me an opportunity to become an actress" I looked directly at my dad and my mum finally let me go. "I wanted to earn it, without hurting your feelings"

I could see in their eyes that they understood, but there was something else they weren't telling me.

"Erm... So how's Nathan?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Fine" I said trying to understand what they were hiding.

"David" she said sharply "Call the airline, postpone the flight" My dad said nothing, he just obeyed.

"What flight?" I asked.

"Elliot" she began as she led me to the sofa (or couch as she keeps calling it). "Your fathers play is taking of in Japan next month. And we are all moving there to support him" she waited for my reaction but I couldn't speak.

This meant moving away from Izy, away from school, away from the drama group. Away from Nathan.

"Look, I know this isn't ideal but we will stay long enough to see your play Saturday and then we can fly out Monday, it'll all work out-"

"No" I interrupted. "No. I'm not leaving, I have friends here, I have Nathan"

"I never said it would be easy but we can-"

"No" I repeated again.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't stay and listen to this anymore. I went to my room in a sort of stroppy teenager way, but I think I was entitled to at least one 'stroppy teenager' moment right now.

How could they do this, we don't need to be there to watch his play do so well in Japan, he can hire people to do it for him, people who get paid to go overseas. Why was it so important that we all go. He can go alone!

I took a moment as I sat on my bed and realised how unreasonable I was being. I couldn't help the tears... Guilt, pain, devastation... Love that would soon go away. I didn't want it to go away.

I heard a knock on my door but my face was buried too far into my pillow to care. My mums voice was always soothing to me but now it just hurt. What she wanted from me I didn't want to give but how could I ignore how happy they were to know that I want to be an actress and how they would happily postpone a flight to come and see my first official performance. They loved me enough to do that and I was throwing it back at them. Suddenly the guilt overran every other feeling.

I pulled myself up and fell towards the door to let my mum know that I support them. I almost forgot my eyes were still leaking down my face when she mimicked my look and pulled me closer to her. Right then, I knew that despite everything else that was perfect, I knew the one thing I couldn't lose was my family.

"It's okay" she reassured me, whipping my eyes, like she did when I was six and fell off my bike. The memory only made me hold her tighter. I realised that one day this would all be one memory that I may or may not remember all the details from. One day Nathan would just be a memory. Izy would just be a memory. I shook away the thought.

"Do we have to go?" I asked, sounding more like a six year old now.

I felt her nod her head above mine and she continued to hug me. I pulled back and looked at her, trying to assure her I was okay with this, or at least that I would have to be.

"Okay" I said and she just pulled me in closer.

"You're so grown up, Elliot" only now I didn't feel like it.