I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 16

"And you little miss, you look like you could use a nap." You grunt as you take her from Bucky where she is resting her head on his shoulder with heavy eyelids.

Bucky let's you take her and you go put her down in her small bed before coming back out to the lounge.

"Steve sent me that drawing we've got hanging up over the fireplace. He sent after we- after we thought you had died." You say quietly, your breath hitching in the middle of the sentence. "He said he drew it for you and that we might want it. It's my favourite thing. It was the only image that wasn't just in my mind of our family all together."

You see Bucky just standing up from placing his bag in the corner and his face lights up when he spots it.

"Oh my gosh I though I lost it!" He exclaims as he reaches out to touch it. "This was all I had besides all the photos to hold onto during the war that had all of us together."

He seems so happy for a few seconds but when he turns to face you he just stops. His bottom lip quivers and his eyes soften.

This is it. This is what you have been waiting for. There are no cameras. No children. No distractions. You can finally just talk.

Suddenly it hits you and you feel the same way that he looks. All the heartbreak and emotion that you have bottled up over the last few years just bursts over the dam of your willpower and floods out.

You rush into his already open, waiting arms, already crying before you even get there. You bury your head in his chest to muffle your sobs, quickly dampening his shirt. You feel him rest his head on your shoulder, his face hiding in the crook of your neck.

The two of you stand there just crying for a few silent minutes. Your bodies shuddering together, sobs wracking your bodies. His arms completely enveloping you and your hands hanging limply together at the base of his back. It's not long before you feel his hot wet tears dripping on the exposed skin at the nape of your neck.

"Oh Bucky I missed you so much." You whimper after a while.

"I missed you too doll." He says hoarsely.

"It's been so hard." You cry, gradually pulling away to look up at him through watery eyes.

"I know doll, I know. I'm sorry." He sighs.

"Don't be sorry Bucky it's not your fault!" You laugh slightly through your tears. "It was probably even harder for you, being cut off from us."

"It was lonely I'll tell you that much." He huffs. "It's strange. You're surrounded by all these men. Men you know call your friends yet at times you feel like you've got no one to talk to."

"Oh Bucky." You sob after hearing his words. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I'm sorry that you had to go. I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm sorry for what happened to you. It must've been so awful."

"Hey hey, it's okay doll. All that matters is that we are here together now." He hushes you and uses his right hand to tilt your chin up so that you are looking him in the eyes.

Those beautiful, magical blue grey eyes of his.

Next thing you know his lips are on yours. Softly at first but it is a kiss that quickly grows with much passion. Possibly even more so then the last if that is even possible, now that your hidden away in privacy.

He moves his left hand to lace it with yours and entwines your fingers together. It is at this moment when you feel the contrast between cold, rough leather and soft, warm skin that you are reminded that he is wearing a glove.

"Bucky." You gasp reluctantly pulling your lips apart. "Why are you wearing one glove?"

You see his eyes darken somewhat before he answers.

"I guess that's my cue to explain." He mumbles. "Let's sit down."

You nod quietly and do as he says. Expecting that he will take his glove off  you wait, but instead he just takes your hand in his and rests it in your lap.

"Now a lot of this is going to be hard for you to hear. But please just listen and then ask questions. I promise I'll tell you everything you want to know. It's a lot to take in and it will be very confusing. I'm so sorry for this." He says gravely.

"Bucky it's okay. Just tell me." You smile softly and look deeply into his eyes.

"Okay." He sighs and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. "So, as you must know already I was captured by Hydra, the Nazi science division and they experimented on me with serums that they wanted to make to match Steve's abilities. It was pretty much torture."

"Oh Bucky." You gasp. "Did it hurt?"

"Ah, questions at the end." He tuts light heartedly but there is a disturbing pain hidden somewhere in his eyes.

"Sorry." You mumble and carry on listening.

"Well we didn't think that the experiments had done anything to me, nothing seemed different. But when I fell off that train, turns out that they did do something to me. And that's why I survived." He explains.

"What did they-" you cut in but he interrupts you by raising a teasing eyebrow and smirking slightly in amusement.

"When the U.S. Army got me back they took me straight to recovery. By the time I had my wits somewhat about me again and most of my injuries were healed they had Steve back too who surprisingly was in fairly good nick. So at that stage they started all kinds of tests to find out what was wrong with me." He carries on.

"Wrong with you?" You frown.

"(Y/N) please." He chuckles tiredly.

"Oh sorry! You know what I'm like." You scold yourself.

"So what had happened was that a variation of the super soldier serum was inside me now. Although I don't look different like Steve does, I'm still stronger, faster, fitter and able to recover quicker and better." He explains slowly. "My metabolism runs twice as fast as the average mans and, like Steve, we don't know what it does to affect the process of aging just yet."

Your heart sinks and you lean back into the couch, shocked.

"But what if-" You start faintly.

"Whatever it is we will deal with it. As long as your okay." He whispers and cups your cheek, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek.

"So what does this all mean?" You ask, your voice trembling and your head spinning.

Your husband practically has super powers. You don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

"I don't know." He huffs. "This is where it gets complicated and important. You can't tell anyone this, but Peggy Carter and a few others are starting up a top secret agency called S.H.I.E.L.D to fight against Hydra."

"But aren't they gone?" You ask.

"Who knows. You can never be sure. And what's not to say there won't be others out there just like him. And it's not just for things like that, it could be for anything." He shrugs. "She said that me and Steve could be a huge help to them and that our assistance could be needed at times."

"To do what?" You gasp hesitantly.

"To fight." He sighs. "Anything really I guess."

"Oh Bucky." You cry, your eyes welling up again as you lean your head against his left shoulder.

You could swear that he flinches and that you hear him wince under his breath.

"What's wrong?" You frown, shooting up as it all clicks. "Bucky is something wrong with your left hand?"