Asexual stuff

Hi, I'm Scared

This is one thing I've been afraid of ever since I felt I was definately asexual.

What if no-one will ever love me?

This is not including family or friends of course, but more the romantic type of love. Has anyone else ever thought of this?

I am panromantic, so I am very much willing to go on long walks on the beach and have kisses in the moonlight. As long as they last five seconds at most, because otherwise I would start to feel uncomfortable. But what if a partner is repulsed by that fact that I do not want to give myself to them quicker? What if they find it abnormal?

Of course there is the whole thing saying, if they truly loved you then they wouldn't say that, but knowing that I just could not bring myself to give them that sort of pleasure without feeling sick to my stomach makes me feel like I'm not going to be a good partner for anyone. I cant give them what they might want, and that saddens me.

I don't think I've told anyone this, but my biggest fear is dying alone. And it haunts me.