Terrestrial Alien ✔

Chapter 16: To the Moon and Back

   I'm happy to oblige of course; There's really nothing about me I mind him knowing. But I worry... will talking about it upset him again? We've been doing so well today, but... No, I have too many questions. I should just start talking.

'"Well," I start awkwardly, glancing up to the blue sky above as I try to piece my thoughts together. "It's sort of a long, kind of, um, concerning story. But don't worry," I add quickly, looking back to him, "I'm fine now."

    Joshua nods, his lips pressed into a firm line. His chocolate eyes bore into me with a seriousness that sends tingles down my spine, and my next exhale shudders silently. I glance quickly away from him so I can continue my story, as I know he's waiting for me to.

   "That day," I start again, and he knows the day. There's only the slightest tightening of the skin around his eyes, but other than that he gives no indication that the memory is traumatizing to him now. "I followed you home from the hospital. I'm sorry... I was a kid, and I didn't know where else to go... I was too scared to approach you though, so I just sort of... Hung out in the area for the next week.

   "You and your father didn't look too well during that time; I thought about going to see you again eventually, to try and make amends, but then you guys started packing up your stuff. At the time, I didn't understand what was going on. All the men coming to take your stuff and put it in their big truck, they frightened me, so I hid. I stayed in your neighbor's moldy tool shed for days, it was actually rather gross. But I was stupid and scared.

   "And when I finally came out, you and your father were getting in your car. I didn't understand. The truck was gone, but there was still so much stuff left in your house, and I thought you two were going to come back. So I watched you guys leave. And you did not come back."

    This part of my story has my chest feeling tight, like no matter how I breathed I just couldn't take in enough air. I can feel Joshua's wide eyes on me, and I can feel the guilt coming off him in waves.

   "Seth... I didn't realise..." He whispers hoarsely, but I wave him off.

   "It's alright." I tell him with a sad smile, "It's not your fault, you couldn't have known. It's my fault anyway, all of it."

   By now we've come to a crossroads in the path, and we inevitably have to stop. I'm surprised to find I'm glad for the pause in my storytelling; I didn't think retelling it to him would affect me as much as it does. But I can remember everything vividly: The jackrabbit fear of all the strangers, the thick smell of mold in my nose and my lungs, the confusion as Joshua climbs into the car with all his important belongings in a suitcase.

    Beside me, Joshua looks melancholy, almost as if he's sad he asked. He shouldn't be. I think he should know eventually, even if this isn't how I thought this date would go.

    "Don't be upset," I say to him, even as my attention is on the signs in front of me. "Really... Now, eum, where would you like to go from here?"

   It takes him a second to realise I'm not talking about my story. He looks up at the signs as well, and takes a moment to study them, before deciding, "How about the Asian area. Do you know if they have pandas?"

   I smile, "I'm afraid they don't, but there are some rather beautiful tigers over there."

   "Oh... Well tigers are cool too, I guess." Joshua says, sounding like he means it, but I laugh. He looks so disappointed!

   "What?" He snaps at me, defensively, and I cover my mouth to stifle the laughter as quickly as it came.

     "Oh, it's nothing," I respond to him reassuringly behind my hands, shaking my head. I'm sure I still look amused, because he grumbles and turns to head in the direction the Asiatic sign is pointing, regardless of if I follow him. I'm still grinning when I jog to catch up to him.