ALTRUISTIC | myg. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-Six

Yoongi

"How are you?" I asked softly as I placed my bag on the couch, quickly making my way over to her. On her right arm, was a cotton pad where they injected her. "Does it still hurt? You don't have to type."

I was learning ASL. But as of now, the only thing I memorised was the alphabet. So I told her she could just sign letter by letter.

'Numb,' she signed slowly. I nodded and sat on the chair next to the bed, planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you," I whispered. I was suddenly much more affectionate with her. When I finished my song for her last night, I started to think that I was so lucky to have someone like her, and that I had.. I just had to savour every moment we had together. "So much, Ayumi."

She smiled and looked up at me, she held up her left hand. 'I love you too.' her gaze drops to the bracelet around my hand, and she smiled even wider.

"It reminds me so much of you," I moved my hand so she could see it better. "Since there's a crescent shape. Don't you think?"

She nodded slowly, and I pulled out my phone and earphones. "And I finished my song for you last night. Do you want to listen to it right now?"

As if on instinct, she was about to clap her hands in excitement, until she flinched, forgetting about the dextrose on her right hand. I sighed and flashed her a reassuring smile, putting the earphones in both of her ears.

Until she took the other one and handed it to me. I hesitated, but she nudged me, leaving me no choice but to listen as well. I started rapping lazily with the song.

I never looked at any stars,

I could only look at my moon

She cracked a knowing smile. The song was all about her; and you didn't need to think twice to notice that.

The way she danced so gracefully,

The way she snuck a look at me,

The way she turns her head away,

Just makes me want her more to stay

When the song ended, she went to the notes and handed me my phone, 'I want to listen to it all night. Your voice is so comforting, and the lyrics make me want to.. jump out of this bed and pull you in a hug. I love it.. so, so, much. Do my expressions look legit?'

She was smiling small, but the way her eyes twinkled as I looked at her made me believe it all. I sighed, nodding slowly. Her head slightly tilted, and she moved a free hand, tapping my chin.

'Have you been sleeping well?'

I rested my head on top of a hand and stared at her. As much as I hate to admit it, I couldn't sleep well at night. How could I when the last thing I see in the hospital is the tears escaping from her eyes? When she looked at me with so much sadness, but I couldn't do anything about it?

"No." I admitted. I wasn't used to lying. "I can't sleep well thinking you're here. Does it hurt really bad?"

She pursed her lips and she slightly looked away, suddenly down. She typed in the phone, 'It hurt.. really bad. Even after the injection, it still hurt. And they had to inject it into me 3 times.'

"3 times?" my eyes widened.

'It was necessary.' she frowned. 'I need to have it in me 3 times a day..'

"You're fine with it?" my voice was suddenly gentler.

She smiled beautifully and nodded.

I stayed quiet, feeling different. ".. Really now?" I glanced at the heartbeat monitor, and as I did, her pulse suddenly became faster.

"Do you want anything in general?" I questioned out of nowhere. "If I had money, I'd always take you out shopping. But that doesn't matter now. Since you need to fast, have you been interested in buying any clothes? Or.. anything at all?"

Her brows furrowed, and she signed something I fairly understood: 'Why?'

"Because I want to." I stated. "But you know.. just seeing you makes me want to write another song for you."

She laughed softly, shaking her finger, pointing at me, waved her hands, and pointed at me again. As if saying, 'Do you want me to make a dance for you?'

I scoffed, "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

She giggled and tilted her head.

I playfully rolled my eyes, and we continued to mock and make fun of each other and talk about other things for about an hour and a half.

Everything was going so well, until she suddenly winced.

"Ayumi?" my voice was low as I reached out to her, but she seemed so fragile, I stopped myself. And then she started panting as if it were suddenly hard to breathe. The heart monitor was going up and down rapidly.

I was getting so confused. I was about to run my fingers through her hair, but she slapped my hand away. She sent me a guilty look, but I didn't care. What was happening? "What's the matter?"

I was so focused on her, I didn't even notice the nurses that have already barged in, they made her lay down, and though she was weak, when her eyes landed on the injection, she started panicking.

I wanted to tell them to get their hands off of her. But at the same time, I wanted her to stay still so it would hurt less. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay.

I couldn't hear anything. All I could do was see.

Growing up as someone who always listened, I thought I was a good listener. I never really came to a point to look at what life was really about - I was an overthinker that just lacked thinking about this one category.. love.

It was ironic. Though at the same time.. it was a pun. A serious pun. A pun that people would take hard.

That many would have become upset.

So.. how did this.. 'listener' persona of mine turn into a 'talker'? Well, one question will guide you to the answer: Are you more of this person? Because if you are, once you meet the 'most', it wouldn't matter.

Someone was a better listener than I was. Because all of her life, she never talked. All she could do was depend on hearing for communication. Or at least, substitute sight for hearing sometimes. But..

It was still important to her. Because if she never got to hear.. she would never be able to dance.

And maybe that's why I admired her so much. Though even that, I still questioned myself. Was it because of her strong passion? Was it because she was.. different? Was it because she was strong in a different way?

Either way, I don't think I'll be able to let go.

Because maybe I got too attached.

And I'm still falling.

'What's it called?'

"I'll call it.. first love."

---

i am such an angel

and hear and see the words of wisdom aka "wow" by min yoongi above