Diary of a drummer. (Lashton au)

Entry 48

Dear journal,

I don't know what to do!

Luke's being sweet to me one moment and the next he's ignoring me and slamming every fucking door in my face!

Calum has talked to me about it too! he's said to me-

-
"hey Ashton, do you ever think that Luke is maybe playing you? he's talked to me, he's said you liked you. And i believe he does- its just he doesn't know how to deal with being um... whatever he is."

I shook my head in disbelief. "no, that can't happen. it won't happen- Luke... he loves me just as much as I love him!"

Then there was a voice behind us. "Ashton- please don't kill me... but..."

I turned around and saw Luke leaning against the wall with tear stained cheeks. "what?"

Calum then nodded his head at Luke. "I um. I can't do this! this relationship thing. I'm not- I'm not gay... no- no..." Luke then hastily rubbed his eyes which were now like a faucet, pouring down tears. "Ashton I'm a fucking jerk! I'm an asshole! how could you fucking love me?"

I edged closer to Luke and wrapped my arms around him. he instantly melted into me. "I didn't mean to say those things, Ash. I really fucking didn't. I- I lo-" he hiccuped and looked into my eyes.

"Yeah, I know what your gonna say." I leaned closer to his lips. "Can I?"

"Yeah." he then grabbed me by my collar and smashed his lips onto mine.

Talk about mood swings.

When we pulled away Calum smiled at the both of us. "so, I guess things are settled, I'm just gonna-"

Luke then pressed his hands on my chest and pushed me backwards. "get- get away from me!"

I inched forward and tried to wrap my arms around Luke in attempt to comfort him. he continued pushing me away and I couldn't help but have a stinging feeling in my heart. "Fine! go!" I shouted and almost instantly Luke was out of my arms and downstairs. I then turned to Calum who was standing there with wide eyes. "see? one moment he's in my arms and the next he's out the door. I can't do this anymore!"

Calum wrapped his arms around me. I returned the hug. "Maybe I should just..." I whispered, then yelled loud so he could hear me. "maybe I should break up with him!"

Then, the front door opened, and we heard footsteps running outside.

Me and Calums eyes met and at the same time we both whispered

"Luke."

-

So if you excuse me, I have to look for my runaway boyfriend...

I fucked up.

Bad.

Ashton

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Oh! friendly reminder,

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