Saved by the Mafia (BOOK 1)

CHAPTER 15

"I'm sorry. Thank you for taking care of her." I twist my mouth, still left with a sour aftertaste of the situation. 

"I'm glad you understand." He gives me a smile.

"Oh. I think you'd like to know that after the movie ended we talked a little and she said something about us. Basically, she said that even if we do bad things she knows we aren't bad people and that we have a good heart. She said she trusts us. I don't know about her past but I can tell she has a hard time trusting others and she almost always seems afraid of interacting with new people. I don't know about you, but I think it means a lot." My hearts swells at the knowledge of her opinion. But I frown immediately after.

"She wouldn't say that if she knew what our job implies. She hasn't seen us working. She hasn't seen the things we've done, the things I've done. The things I'm capable of." I look down at my hands in shame, the hands of a murderer. I've killed so many people. I've caused so much pain and suffering. All of it was deserved, but it actually frightens me how much damage I'm capable of causing. 

"I know, but if she never sees us you have nothing to worry about. And, Alex? Remember why you do it. Someone may say the violence isn't necessary but you know your intentions are good." He's right. There is no reason why she would ever have to witness any violence. I will try my best to keep her away from it.

"Thank you, for easing my conscience." He nods and then changes the topic.

"Alessandro, I want to talk to you about something else. I've been teasing you these past days but in all seriousness I know you feel something for the girl. You've been different and you're doing things you haven't done before because of her. If you still won't admit it, that's fine. But I think you should try to get close to her. You need something in your life to bring you happiness. You think I haven't noticed you getting bored of our life? I've gotten bored of it as well. If you have something that can help you actually enjoy being alive, you should do something to keep it there. I'm saying this as your brother. I love you and I want to see you smiling every day the way you have been doing these past three days. Besides, you know that death is right around the corner for us. We don't have the luxury of time. Don't wait. Stop being afraid, Alessandro." I can't stop being afraid.

"You don't understand. I want her Nico, so badly. I want to try and see where my feelings take me but I can't. If those feelings grow and if she eventually has the same feelings towards me, she'll be a weakness and a distraction. Not to mention the fact that she will become a huge target." He raises an eyebrow at me, shooting me an incredulous look. 

"Alessandro, people have noticed and if they haven't they will regardless. You think people won't ask why you took in some random girl? She is already a target and she is more of a weakness if you continue avoiding your feelings towards her. You'll be much more distracted if you live in constant mental and emotional debate with yourself. We both know that you're just grasping at straws, making up excuses." He sighs and shakes his head.

"Just...think about it. I'm going to bed. Good night." He turns to leave.

"Good night, and Nicholas? Thank you." He smiles and nods.

Everything he said is true. I'll wait until after my visit to Italy, then I'll try to get closer to her. He was right, she is already a target and that happened since we rescued her and the mental struggle has been wearing me down. I think that if things go right, she won't be a weakness. She'll be my strength, my motivation. I'll work harder than ever because keeping her safe will be a priority. All that's left is having her like me back and that is what scares me the most. However, what she told Nicholas before makes me feel a little bit of hope. Maybe, things will work out just fine. I decide it's time to go to bed as well. I walk back up and head over to my room, passing Amber's on the way, wondering what she's dreaming of.