Splinter (Yaoi ManXBoy)

【Part 17: Turns】「Kazuo」

I invited her inside, and she sat on the couch. I went to get her a glass of water. She takes it, and smiles.

"I'm Katie by the way." She smiles.

"Kazuo. Just Kazuo." I smiled.

"Kazuo, you are a kind man."

"I guess." I sat down on a separate couch, and yawned.

"Can I stay?" She asked.

"Huh?" We don't even know each other. Won't your mom find it suspicious if you slept in a man's house."

"Well I have no one else. My mother is sick, and my grandma is taking care of her. I can't be in that house for too long or I'll go crazy."

"Fine. Take the couch then." I nod.

"Thank you!"

My life had so many twists, and turns. Katie would stay at my place every Tuesday, and Thursday. Those days I told Satou to not come over. He thought she was my girlfriend so he respected my wishes. One day that became a fact.

"Go out with me." I asked her one evening when we were eating ramen while the tv was blasting a comedy flick.

"Really?" She blushed. "I have liked you. Your kind nature."

Happiness was something I felt at that moment, but the bitter truth of my addictions, and harassment must be known to her.

"I have so much shit you don't know..." I looked down. "Think before you agree to be with me."

"What is it?"

"My boss sexually harasses me at work. Almost three times a week. I have to obey or I lose my job. I tried to numb this horrible situation by taking heavy drugs. I'm not stable mentally at all Katie." I covered my face with my hands, and began to cry. "You came into my life.....and..."

"Shhh don't say anymore." She placed her hand on my back, and rubbed my back. "My father is a police officer."

My head shot up. Could she be my savior?

"What? You can help me?" I heard the desperation in my voice.

"Yes. You will still keep your job. I'll make sure of it. My.....boyfriend."

My heart warmed up. For once I didn't need to feel alone. I couldn't depend on BigZ, and his drugs. Mom this is that woman you wanted me to have.

Finally that day came. The day I don't need to be some whore for my boss. The police officer got him during the middle of a meeting. He glares at me when he's taken away, and a grin was present on my face.

"I'll get you motherfucker." I mouthed as he was taken away. "I will get my revenge."

I knew I couldn't pay Katie for all she has done for me, but I tried to be a good boyfriend, and eventually I popped that special question.

"Will you marry me?" I asked her during a fancy dinner at a beautiful French restaurant.

"Yes!" She screams out, and everyone clapped. It was a moment to remember. I felt my life was finally heading the right way.

The marriage was normal. We were happy, and she always let me cry on her shoulder when I needed. I couldn't stop my drug addiction. It was something I couldn't control.

My mood swing fluctuate a lot, but I manage to keep it in tact with my number one love. My heroin.

"I'm worried about you." Katie cries one night. "What if you die? You have a whole life ahead of you."

"I know. If you love me, then let me."

"Okay." She obeyed me all the time. I was her life, and she was mine.....along with my drugs.

My married life was okay. Everything was well. It was only puzzling until I came together with Satoshi. I didn't want to openly say it, but I didn't remember him.

I was already too focused on my career as a professor, and personal drug life, that I couldn't remember much of my past. My mother was also unaware of my horrible habits, and what I was doing. I wouldn't answer her calls. My dad was also cut off from my life. I didn't want contact. Satoshi jumped into my forbidden zone.

"I love you." He would say to me. I wanted to satisfy his wants, and intentions, but being sexually assaulted so many times made me uncomfortable around men. Whenever sexual things happened with a man, I would always get on my knees to slip that condom on the man's penis. I guess I was so accustomed to this routine.

Satoshi was different. He didn't want to fuck me, but lets me fuck him. Suddenly my mind was confused. I remembered so much of him as a child. How his eyes glistened upon seeing my face, how his lips form that loose U when I would call his name, and just his I love you....I love you... His words warmed me up.

I knew deep down I fell for such a young kid, but was it right to have a sexual affair with him behind Katie's back? I mean....Satou did it. So I can too.

I started seeing Satoshi only for my sexual reasons. There was emotional attachment, but I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to be in love with a man. That isn't normal.

I finally realized one day that I do love Satoshi. I couldn't deny it. He gave me so much to remember. He gave me so much love. I couldn't abandon that. I had to choose, and I choose him.

"Katie, I like men." I lied. Her eyes watered. She was already pregnant, and I felt bad, but I had to do what I want.

"Okay..." She agreed like always. She never went against me, and I was glad about that. As bad as I felt, I didn't want to change my mind, my mind is so confused.

Looking at Satoshi, I just want to control him, and spoil him. Just like how I did when he was a kid. I wanted to fix his splinters as well as his rough personality.

I spent my days with the kid freely. He would be so nervous around me which made me happy. I couldn't understand my reasons for liking him. I guess since he closed off to the world for me. That itself made me drawn to him.

We spent a day in the hotel, and had steamy love making. I woke in the middle of the night from having a horrible dream. That my ex wife murdered Satoshi because he was the reason for my divorce.

Sweat drops drip down my face, and on to my hand. I felt my chest which was beating rapidly at a increased pace. It's happening again! I am going to lose my numbness. I quickly ran to the bathroom, and pulled out my satchel that was located in the cabinets.

I dug around for my needle, and special liquid. I quickly sped up my actions, and shot a good dosage of heroin into my left arm.

I waited. Waited. Nothing. I felt nothing! Was I immune to heroin? Is that even possible?! I quickly injected it into my other arm, and waited. An hour pass with nothing. What's happening?

"My v-vein is c-clog! That's it!" I dug around in my bag, and found a box cutter knife. This will do fine.

I position the knife where my veins were. Where doctors jab until they got a blood sample from you. Slowly I pushed the blade into my skin. Tiny pools of blood started spurring out my freshly sliced skin.

"Yes yes!" I took the tiny jar of heroin, and managed to take the whole lid off. I cut into my flesh again, making just enough room for the lid of the jar to fit through. Slowly I eased the bottom upside down into my skin so the lid would pour massive amounts into the hole in my arm.

"Ahhh!" The pain was unbearable, but it felt so great. Electricity rushed through my veins as the clear liquid entered my blood system.

My head started feeling light. I peeked down to see that I accidentally cut my vein slightly. No! Am I going to die?! I took the nearest cloth, and pressured it into my veins preventing the blood from flowing out more.

"Ha. Ha. Ha..." I breathed heavily, and before I knew it.....I passed out in my own pool of blood.

To Be Continued