Taking Chances

Realization and A Promise

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BEA

“Bea!” tawag niya. We just finished our evening practice and nasa parking lot na ako on the way to my car.

I took a deep breath before I turned towards her.

“Yes?” I answered coldly. I saw her face fell, nawala yung ngiti niya after I answered.

“Ahhh…” she hesitated…

“Dinner tayo if you’re not bucy?” she said trying to sound cheerful.

“I have to study, sorry.” then I continued walking to my car.

I looked back before ako sumakay and saw her walking away with her head down.

I’m sorry Jia, I don’t want to hurt you pero…

Ever since that faithful morning that she introduced Miguel to the team, I have been trying to avoid Jia as much as possible.

Mabigat kasi sa loob everytime nakikita kong magkasama sila and napapasaya siya ni Miguel, and I think I know why.

It’s been more than a month since then, and ilang beses na din nag-aya si Jia sa akin, but I try to have an excuse everytime. I can see napapansin na din niya ang pag-iwas ko, but thankfully she hasn’t said anything.

So I drove home feeling miserable.

When I got there, naabutan ko silang 3 kumakain, so I joined them,

“How are you anak?” si Mom. Maybe she can sense misery.

“Fine” I mumbled. I didn’t want to talk about it, thankfully they left me alone.

After dinner nag-paalam na ako and went upstairs. After I changed, I heard someone knocking on the door.

“It’s open”

“Bei?” si Kuya, he saw me sitting in the sofa so he came in and joined me.

I looked at him,not saying anything. “Hey you okay?” I still didn’t answer.

“You know you can tell me anything Bei…”

“K-Kasi…” I started.

Urgh! I don’t even know where to start! How do I say this kung ako mismo d ko maintindihan!!!

“Hey, look at me.” so I did. “Start from the beginning.”

“I-I don’t understand what’s happening to me kuya, I think I-I like someone but…” I looked down on my hands, waited a while to swallow the lump on my throat.

“But?” he asked, urging me to continue.

“But I shouldn’t… because I’m not sure i-if it’s right to like………

her….” I took a peek at him.

This was the first time I said it out loud, it felt weird, but it felt right.

“HER? You like a girl?!” he said surprised evident in his voice.

“Well I definitely didn’t expect that.” he said and looked away from me.

He was silent for a few minutes, and I was expecting him to be mad when he finally said, “So yun yung problem, that it’s a girl you like?” I nodded ashamed to look him in the eyes.