Camp Anderson

This Was

I smile and enthuse, "Oh, I'm so happy you guys all came together for me like this! It makes me so happy to be so loved!"

Judy says with what I think is a hint of sarcasm, "Well, isn't that nice, Jon."

Gina snaps, "Hey, be nice to my Jon!"

"No, he's my Jon!" Sara says.

Chris squeals, "He's my Jon!"

Stephanie squeaks, "He's my Jon."

Lily laughs, "Hmm, I suppose I should revoke claim to you, for the sake of peace, that is..."

"Claim to me?" I scoff, "I am a twenty eight year old man! I don't need a claim!"

Keith Emerson looks over at me, "Yeah, I'm twenty eight too, but at least people don't confuse me for a child."

Lily looks at me, "Think of it this way... everyone is claiming you for the sake that they love you. Hey, I claimed Keith here."

Kay hugs Tom, "I've claimed you, love." The two of them kiss, and it's actually quite sweet. It begins to hit me how happy I should be about this whole thing.

I smile widely, "Oh, man!" and I blush a bit, "I can't believe this..."

Keith pats me on the shoulder, "Yeah, yeah... we all like Jon Anderson. Now, how much longer before we eat? I can only drink so much milk."

Carl Palmer comes in, "I can't drink any milk because I AM VEGAN!!!"

Stephanie shouts, "What the hell, vegan boy? Where did you come from?"

He laughs, "I swear, every door to this place is unlocked or something..."

"Who the hell did that?" I squeak.

Chris hiccups, "Probably me, in all honestly. I ended up getting so wasted last night it was pathetic... oh well, we are all still alive. I have the hangover from hell, though."

I recoil in horror of what Chris said. "You- you got wasted?" I start to pant again in fear.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Chris says, "Bob was challenging me to take more and more, it was quite fun, and I couldn't help it."

Before things get any more intense, Sara squeals, "We have food! Please, eat up!" She sets down the cinnamon rolls, the eggs, and the fruit. It all looks quite good. I serve up some for myself, and then everyone else eats.

"Mm, cinnamon, my preferred hangover cure," Chris says, and then whispers to me, "You're pure cinnamon, darling."

I blush, "Well, thank you. I take pride in my sweetness." Chris sits back, chuckling a little. I don't get what's so funny...

Judy laughs, "You really don't get innuendo, do you? I think Chris was trying to get your pants off."

I squeal, grabbing my pants, "I'll keep my pants on, thank you!"

Keith just shakes his head, "You poor, poor, sap."

Elisa climbs down from the same window that Judy climbed from earlier, Steve Winwood following behind her. "Wait, are we talking about how oblivious Jon is?"

"That's exactly what's up, yes," Judy replies.

"Why can't we talk about the fact that I am VEGAN??!!!" Carl shouts.

Chris's eyes widen, totally forgetting about me, "Why can't we talk about how this girl is hot! Damn, girl, I'll see you later, if you don't mind..."

Elisa clearly is quite infuriated with Chris's comment. "Do something, Steven!" she wails, but to no avail.

"I'm too nice to just go up to a guy like that," he says, "I'll just stay out of it."

"What the hell?!" she shouts.

Just then, Carl stands up and goes over to Chris, definitely confrontationally, "If you would mind not saying such rude things to her, that would be great." He grabs onto Chris's shirt, "I wouldn't want to have to cause a scene here, but I wouldn't be that damn afraid to." He pushes Chris back a little, and then goes back to eating the fruit. Clearly, Chris has learned his lesson. Also, I'm reexamining being with Chris...

"Wow, that was amazing, Carl," Elisa beams.

"It was really nothing," he says sweetly in reply. He looks at Elisa kindly, and then again resumes his fruit.

Steve wraps his arms around Elisa, and she mutters very softly, "I think I want to leave you for the sexy vegan..."

Steve squeals, "How could you want to leave me? I'm sexy!"

"Not vegan boy sexy!" Elisa snaps. She breaks away from Steve, and then heads out the door.

"Well, that was interesting," Carl says awkwardly. The tension in this room could be cut with butter.

Steve asks, "What just happened?"

"Your girlfriend just had enough of you," Keith replies plainly, "Here, have some cognac, it calms the nerves." He hands Steve the bottle, and Steve drinks quite a bit of it. Keith continues, "Feel free to get drunk if you'd like."

Stephanie squeaks, "That's terrible advice!"

"I don't know, it seems to work okay for me..." Keith snickers.

"I'm not too certain of that, Keith," Carl replies, rolling his eyes.

Again, the tension is increased as Steve drinks down the bottle.

Just then, Ian comes flying in through the window, "GOOD MORNING, CAMPERS!! I HOPE YOU ARE ALL READY FOR A GREAT DAY AT CAMP ANDERSON! WE HAVE A BUNCH OF THINGS PLANNED FOR TODAY!!"

Makaila walks in through the door, "Like an ice bag toss, maybe?"

"Absolutely not!" Ian scoffs.

"How about more boating?" I ask.

"No way in hell!" Ian says. "Today, we are having a joust!"

"Get out of here, Ian! We aren't having some medical joust!" I wail.

"Yes, we are! I figure, we could use the cows that Tom accidentally bought, and it would be great fun!" Ian insists.

"Please tell me this is a joke," I whine.

"Nope, not at all," he says.

"The point is, there will be no jousting!" I say.

Katherine, Makaila, and Grace spontaneously band together like a Greek chorus and say, "OR WILL THERE?"