HOCKEY IMAGINES [ UNEDITED ]

#167: ARTEMI PANARIN - #10 NEW YORK RANGERS

"You don't mean that, you're just annoyed, you're upset at what's happened." I said blinking away the tears that welled in my eyes. Artemi sighed.

"I do mean it, you deserve more. You don't belong with me, you belong to someone who is better." Artemi told shaking his head when I stood up. 

"I don't deserve more, I deserve you, Artemi. I love you, how can you say that? Don't you love me back?" I protested letting my tears roll down my face now.

"I love you. I love you that I think about you, you don't move with me to Columbus. You stay here in Chicago, I go to Columbus alone." Artemi said and with that I knew there was no hope in saying anything else as he wasn't having it.

I gave a reluctant nod, my heart breaking in two. "OK, I understand."

"I'm sorry." Artemi said and my head shot up at him, my blood boiling at what he said. 

"Sure, of course you are." I spat walking away from him and towards the bedroom. I slammed the door shut and walked lifelessly over to the bed, my body collapsing before I reached the bed and I curled into a ball with my sobs finally escaping me.

I left that night when I heard Artemi leave the apartment, I couldn't bare to walk out when he's at home watching me as I do. But I still left, leaving a small note wishing him well and that I still love him. And that was it, I left and never returned. 

_ _ _ _ _ 

Three and a half months later:

"You up for a date night tonight?" Alec asked entering into the living room and threw himself down beside me. I looked up from my laptop, an eyebrow raising at his words. 

"What do you have in store?" I questioned, closing my laptop and set it on the floor. 

"Two tickets for the Blackhawks game tonight, front row seats." Alec grinned pulling two tickets out of his pocket. I laughed and reached for one of the tickets, my hand grabbed the first one and I froze in my place when I saw the logo of the away team the Blackhawks are playing.

Columbus Blue Jackets.

My thoughts instantly went straight to Artemi, my heart never did heal after our break up. Even now with me dating Alec, my heart still yearns for Artemi. I miss him. I love him. I want him. And yet, I can't have him. He's miles away in another state, living life and playing his sport, while I'm here in Chicago, my heart still broken and the memories still fresh in my thoughts.

But I didn't want to let Alec down and I agreed to go to the game with him, even as my thoughts battled with each other not to go because seeing Artemi would send me off into an emotional mess.

Alec and I arrived at our seats, the plexiglass an arms reach in front of us. Alec put his arm around my shoulder as we settled into our seats, I lent further into his side and held his other hand in mine. I kept my gaze off the ice as long as possible until the blur of the blue and white of the Columbus Blue Jacket players skate past us. My eyes shot up and I tried my hardest not to look for him, but of course my thoughts didn't listen and my eyes traveled until they landed on the number 9 jersey at center ice. 

I felt glad that his back is turned, I won't see his face and my heart wouldn't break again at seeing him. But my prayers were unanswered because he turned around and his eyes landed on me, I shuffled in my seat when his baby blue eyes widened at the sight of me. I tried turning my gaze elsewhere, but they kept landing back on his soft eyes. 

"Are you OK?" Alec's voice brought me back into reality and I found myself almost sitting on Alec's lap, hidden in his chest to shield myself. 

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry." I half chuckled moving back into my seat, but still held Alec's hand in mine. I went back to center ice and found no Artemi, I glanced around the Blue Jackets side and found him skating closer to where I sit. His gaze landed on my hand in Alec's and he tensed up, his soft eyes turned hard and he turned away from me.