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Trigger warning, sorry guys :(

Elizabeth - @/lizsotobeth11
Brandon - @/brandon_arreaga

Brandon's dms will be on the left and in bold

I've been pent up in my room for days after the show.

I've only left a few times to use the bathroom and to get a few snacks. Other than that I've just laid in bed and thought.

I was getting depressed again and I knew it. I even missed out on my daily visits with Charlotte, which I haven't done in over a year.

My phone was turned off and probably dead now, so she had no way to reach me since she wasn't allowed a phone in the hospital.

Frazier was at a soccer competition for a few days and my parents weren't here either since they were at a conference some where in the world.

No one was here to see me suffer slowly by my own thoughts.

Suicide was a thought that came so easily to me. Adrianna did it, so why couldn't I?

Char and I have tried to before years ago. But we got caught in the nic of time. She was a bit further gone than I was, hence why she's still in the hospital now. She spent months in a coma recovering while I woke up in a matter of days.

I learned how to return to 'normality' but she was safer off being monitored.

I somehow managed to get off my bed and I sat there on the edge for a while just thinking.

Fumbling around in the drawer next to my bed, I reached into it and took out my depression pills.

It took almost everything in me to not take all of them at once and instead I only pulled out two and swallowed them dry.

I didn't have enough energy in me to close it back fully, so I just dropped them on my bed.

I could've sworn I heard them fall to the floor, but I ignored the sound as I made my way into the bathroom to take a well deserved shower.

Wrapping my body and hair into a towel, I pulled on some sweats that I left in here a while ago and I was finished pulling on my pants when the door burst open and Frazier frantically looking around before his eyes landed on me.

"ADRIANNA!" He screamed at me as he moved toward me.

"Frazier..it's me Elizabeth." I spoke softly as I met him halfway and wrapped my arms around him. "Adrianna's not here."

He shook his head and I could feel slight tears on my t-shirt. "I'm sorry, I just saw the pills in your room and I thought...I-I thought....."

"It's okay.." I hugged him tighter and comforted him as he did me.

Frazier was the first one of us to find Adri and sometimes he'll pretend like everything's okay to seem strong for us. But he's hurting just like the rest of us.

I knew what Needed to happen, I just didn't know if I could do it or not.

Brandon made me happy, but the fame he had also brought back my depression.

I needed to be happy, but at what cost?

1 New message from Liza Beanz

i need to see you....for real this time
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