The 69th Hunger Games

Chapter 11

"Almost there!" Tammie announced, snapping me out of my thoughts. We gather in one car, the train slowing as it approached the station. I could see the cameras waiting for us on the platform even before the doors opened. All of Panem would be watching our homecoming. Alton looked over at me.

"Ready?" he asked.

"No." he smiled then took my hand in his. I smiled back and turned as the train door opened.

We went back to our old routine, but it wasn't the same. Our new house in Victor's Village was enormous with a bedroom for each of us. I was so used to sharing a bed with the others, it felt lonely having a bed to myself. Alton lived right next door, along with Cecelia and Woof. Alton's little brothers would constantly come over to play with Mathus and Tomas. I didn't visit him, though. Seeing him reminded me of being in that tree and how much I owed him for saving my life.

Elias and I only talked about the games once and it was in the middle of the second night I was home. I was sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window into the night. I still couldn't sleep without having nightmares and I didn't want to wake Mathus or Tomas. Elias walked in and sat at the table across from me.

"Can't sleep?" I asked.

"I heard you get up." he shrugged. I sighed, tracing imaginary patterns on the table. "Anna," he paused; I looked up at him.

"Please don't." he looked down. "I just don't want to think about it." he laid his hand on mine.

"I know, but I also know you'll have to talk about it." he was right; he was always right. "It's eating you up inside. I can see it on your face and I can hear you scream at night." I pulled my hand away.

"Of course it's eating me up. I watched kids die; I killed them so I could live." I lowered my voice, trying not to get upset. "I just need time to let the images get blurry."

"You're an amazing person, Anna. I don't want to see you throw any of that away." I smiled; he always knew what to say.

Ballet rehearsal was going on as usual. The choreographer, Christine, was showing us the steps to a new dance. I watched, but I couldn't remember it. I was too exhausted from lack of sleep that I could barely concentrate on what I was doing. I woke up every night and could never fall back to sleep.

"Anna!" Christine snapped me out of my thoughts. "Are you even paying attention?" I nodded. She walked over, pulling me to the side. "Have you been sleeping?" she asked.

"No." I replied.

"Why don't you go home and get some sleep? We need you awake and ready." she smiled sweetly. I sighed, nodding my head then exiting the room. It wouldn't matter if I went home and went to bed, I would wake up an hour later screaming. I rode the train home, drifting in and out of sleep as the world passed by.

The house was empty. Elias was at work and Mathus and Tomas were at school. I sat in my room, staring out the window. From my room I had a perfect view of the side of Alton's house. I stared at it, wondering if he was having the same problems I was. Probably not. He always seemed to be more at ease with everything. How I envied him.

I noticed someone watching me from the window across the way: Alton. I gave him a small wave and he smiled back. He disappeared from the window and I turned away from the house. A cup of tea sounded like a good idea. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I put the kettle on the stove, turning on the flame and sitting at the table to wait for it to boil.

There was a knock at the door. I got up from the table and answered it.

"Hey." Alton said, standing on the doorstep.