Bungou Stray Dogs (Various x Reader)

Pain (Chuuya x Reader)

"Chuuya, you don't have to stay, you can go home if you want.."

"No, It's fine. I'll take care of you." He smiled, his hand gently stroking you hand.

You've talked to him about this multiple times, but he never listens. It doesn't mean you didn't appreciate his company, you loved him a lot, but you didn't want to be a grinder to him. You were a distraction in his daily life especially when he has work to do.

Being in the hospital all was normal for you. Ever since you were young, you were born weak and frail. Unable to do most of the thing other children could do, like playing and etc. As you grow up, you became ill and weaker, you were still under medication but what worried you the most is that doctors haven't found a cure yet...

After Chuuya found out about this, he started worrying about you more frequently, always reminding you to eat properly and to get plenty of sleep. He couldn't concentrate in what he does because of this problem.

You remembered one day, asking Chuuya why he's doing this. You couldn't help but ask, "Why do you care so much about me?"

What he said next made you happy, he replied, "it's because I love you, (F/n). You deserve all the time in the world."

He cherished you dearly. After all, up you were his everything. He didn't care if you were weak. He didn't care if you had imperfections. Even if there were a million of women out there who were much stronger physically and prettier, he still decided to choose you. Though you would always put yourself down among other, he thought you were beautiful and attractive inside and out. It was the main reason he fell in love with you.

You thought you could live happily with him forever. You thought doctors were going to treat you soon so you no longer had to stay in the hospital. Oh, how you were wrong about that. One night, Chuuya asked the doctors about your condition, they were sad to tell him that they haven't found a cure.

You happened to be awake that time, quietly listening to the conversation. Not knowing that next words of the doctor would stab you like a sharp knife.

"There is a possibility (F/n) will die..."

It wasn't a dream...you had to face reality. You suddenly realized that they weren't lying and that you were running out of time.

Chuuya was shocked after hearing the news, he tried to tell himself that everything will be okay. It's fine, right?

It was an easy thing to say. He just wished he was right about it, even he couldn't do anything. You were a good person, you didn't deserve to die. As the day go on, he found himself sleeping alone at night in the cold bed, waking up just to see no one beside him. He was alone.

He won't be able to remember you without breaking down. He started to finally understand his former partner, the feeling of wanting to die. Life felt like nothing without you, meaningless.

As he cleaned his desk that was flooded with files and papers, he noticed an envelope, a small piece of paper sticking out. Has that envelope always been there?

He opened the envelope, his eyes widening a little. The penmanship was soon familiarized.

Dear Chuuya,

Hi, Chuuya..I know it's weird to be writing a letter to someone who just left the hospital, but I felt like I didn't want to bring it up without crying in front of you. So I wrote it on this note and slipped it on your coat pocket while you weren't looking. So I'll get to the point, I just want to say that I've heard the doctors talk about my condition, saying, there's a possibility I will die. I won't deny that I got super scared that time but I still won't give up on hope. But if I do die, please don't be sad, please don't cry. It's not worth it. I don't have to be a burden to you anymore. Even when I felt useless you said that "you would never leave me". I could still remember that day you told that to me. I love you, Chuuya Nakahara, and I know you already know this. I'm sorry for some things I wasn't able to fix or patch between the two of us, but I'm 100% grateful for everything I have received.

-From (F/n) (L/n)

Chuuya covered his mouth, trying not to cry. He tried to stay strong, trying not to remember the past. The feeling when you lose a significant other felt unbearable.

Chuuya took out a picture of you and him, he knew your smile in the picture would never change. He had to admit, he missed looking at your face, he missed your sweet voice, he missed your warmth, he missed you giving him love like no one else could. He missed you. Chuuya smiled sadly and muttered some words to let out his sadness,

"I miss you so much, (F/n)..."