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Defeated

Lindsey was in utter disbelief, when he picked up the phone and heard Stevie's voice on the other end. The conversation was mostly one sided and rather short. Her voice was calm, almost emotionless. It wasn't hard to tell that inviting Lindsey over to her and Joe's home was the last thing Stevie wanted to do. 

And there he was, nervously ringing the doorbell. It took Lindsey a few days to muster up the courage for this meeting. It was going to be awkward beyond words, but it had to happen. Lindsey had hoped he would be talking to Stevie only, however, she told him that wasn't going to be the case.

The door opened and Lindsey was greeted by someone he had never seen in his life. A young woman, whom he immediately guessed to be Stevie and Joe's daughter. Danielle didn't resemble Joe much, but she had Stevie's eyes and nose, her hair was also the same color Stevie's was at that age. 

"Hello." Lindsey managed without stuttering. 

"Hello." Danielle echoed, stepping aside to let Lindsey through. She hadn't met him before, but she sure had hear a lot. "Mom!" She yelled up the stairs and a minute later, Stevie came down the stairs, avoiding Lindsey's eyes so far. "Dad is on his way."

"Okay." Stevie nodded once. She had her fingers crossed that Joe would come home prior to Lindsey's arrival. She didn't want to be left alone with him. Taking a deep breath, Stevie faced Lindsey. "Let's sit down."

Stevie led them to the living room, Lindsey had never felt this uncomfortable as he followed after her. They sat down and remained quiet. Stevie was determined to wait for Joe and Lindsey didn't think he was allowed to speak. He hated this; they were engaged to be married once! Now... It was as if they were strangers to each other.

Lindsey's eyes wandered around the room. There were so many pictures and he wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He could have had this life... If only he stopped drinking, if he wasn't so jealous and possessive, if he hadn't betrayed her... it could have been him and Stevie. 

"Hey." Stevie looked over her shoulder at the sound of Joe's voice just minutes later. He didn't acknowledge Lindsey, sitting down next to his wife, kissing her on the lips. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine." She waved it off and blindly searched for his hand. Clearing her throat, Stevie's gaze shifted over to Lindsey. "I think there's no point in dancing around the subject."

"Can I just say something first?" This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Lindsey was meant to have time alone with Stevie, to apologize, to show her he still cared... How could he, when Joe was glaring at him, his arm around Stevie protectively. 

"Go ahead." Stevie nodded. They had agreed Joe would speak as little as possible, otherwise he was going to let his anger get the better of him.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know who that man was back in the 80's. I've changed. I've been sober for a long time, I've gone to therapy and I'm no longer that person, Stevie." Lindsey noticed Joe subtly roll his eyes. "I would never do anything like that to you if I had been of sound mind. I was quite literally going insane and I took it all out on you." He leaned forward in his seat, this was as close as he was going to get to Stevie. "I was talking to Mick and he told me some things I did back then that I don't have any recollection of... I should have never hurt you like that. I shouldn't have said anything about your daughter, I shouldn't have showed up and trashed your wedding, I..." He didn't expect to get so emotional, eyes filling with tears. "You have every right to hate me, Stevie, you do and I understand if you do."

Stevie's lip trembled, as she cocked her head back, letting out a deep breath. Joe hugged her around the shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple. 

"If..." She sniffled. "If you're sincere, then I forgive you." Both men were shocked, however, for different reasons. "If you're pretending, then I am a fool once more..." Freeing herself from Joe's arms, Stevie got up on her feet. "Excuse me, I need a minute."

Joe left alongside Stevie, he couldn't stand being around Lindsey. He knew Stevie had a heart of gold, but he was livid, Lindsey didn't deserve her forgiveness. 

"I tried to explain to Joe why I want to do this." Stevie spoke up once she returned. "I've sacrificed too much, too many years of my life for Fleetwood Mac and I can't just quit now. I love what Mick, John, Joe and I, Christine too up to a certain point, have done with this band. Every song I've written is so near and dear to my heart. It's never been easy, but I wouldn't change a thing. I have so many wonderful memories, I've got to experience so much, I've met so many incredible people thanks to this band. That's why I can't let you ruin it for me, Lindsey." She locked eyes with him. "I won't let you force me or Joe out of Fleetwood Mac, because of our past. We're all grownups, we're professionals and we can work together, but that's all it's going to be."

"I understand." Lindsey sighed, nodding his head.

"Don't think this is your chance to get back into Stevie's life." Joe added. "You should be grateful she's such an angel. If it were up to me..." Joe didn't go on, his jaw clenched. 

"I don't expect anything from you, I don't expect a friendship is going to come out of this." Lindsey said even if he hoped otherwise. "Mick made it clear, I'm not back permanently. Just this tour."

"Damn right." Joe nodded curtly. "This isn't your band, Buckingham, never was. You've got no say, you can't make any decisions."

Lindsey halfheartedly expected Stevie to tell Joe off, but she didn't. It shouldn't have surprised him. "I know. I understand we have to be civil with each other for this to work."

"Exactly, Lindsey. Civil." Stevie pointed out. "I don't want any more contact with you than absolutely necessary. We rehears, we perform - that's all. We're just colleagues. There won't be any dinners, we won't be having drinks afterwards. To be honest, if it isn't a question only I can answer, I don't want you talking to me."

Taken aback, all Lindsey could do was nod his head. Suddenly, realizing just how badly he had fucked up all those years ago. 

"Preferably don't even look at her." Joe knew that was impossible, but he couldn't help it. 

Feeling completely defeated, Lindsey swallowed back tears. For the first time in his life he truly felt hated and out of all people - by the woman he was still in love with.