Take a deep breathe

Chapter 5 | Am I confused?

"Amazing" I say, still breathing hard.

***

Next Friday...

"She should be home soon" I say as I rest my head on Anna's shoulder.

"She's going to be fine with it, don't worry" Anna replies as she pulls me closer to her.

We look into each other's eyes for a few seconds, then we both lean in for a kiss. I can't help but moan in the kiss, causing my lips to part slightly giving her full access. When her tongue starts to fight against mine, I can't help but wrap my arms around her waist and press her body against mine.

She moans as I place my hands in her pocket forcing her against me roughly. There is no longer a space between us. Just as I was about to slide my hands under her shorts I hear how the front door opens.

"Sweetie I'm home!" I hear my mum's sweet voice echoing through the hallway. She's walking towards the living room where me and Anna are.

Shit.

I quickly push Anna away, hoping that mum didn't see.

"Ehm.. What's going on?" mum asks us with a confused look.

"N-nothing" I stutter. Anna raises and eyebrow at me. She stands up and head towards the hallway.

"You two need talk" she says simply and walks towards the front door.

"I'll call you later" she continues as she walks out of the front door.

Mum walks over to me sits down right infront of me.

"Okay, what's going on?" she asks again, looking into my eyes.

"Promise that you won't get mad.." I say with my vocie shaking. She gives me a confused look.

I feel how nerves and adrenaline are coursing through me, making me anxious.

Do I really want to do this? I think. Do I really want to take that risk?

I shake my head clear of the doubting thoughts. I focus on what I'm about to do. Once I'm there, I can't go back.

"I... I-I'm not r-really into boys.." I stutter looking down on my lap.

"Are you sure?" Mum asks as she lifts my chin up, raising one eyebrow.

"Yeah I'm sure.." I reply letting a tear slip down my cheek.

"well, I don't think you should tell anyone about it yet.." Mum says as she wipes away my tears.

"Why? Besides I've already told all of my friends" I snap.

"Don't give me that attitude! You know what I think about this" Mum says as she stands up with anger in her eyes.

"I don't care about what you think! It's my life!" I reply rudely.

"But I'm your mum and I know what's good for you and a same sex relationship is definitely not good for you!"

"You know what, Fuck you!" I say as I rush up to my room.

I throw myself onto my bed, letting myself lay in thousands of pillows. I slowly breathe out as I look up at my ceiling. I thought that she would understand. I let tears roll down my eyes as I hug one of my pillows tight. I need to talk to Anna. I let out a sigh as I unlock my phone so I can call Anna.

"Hello?"

"Hi.."

"Are you alright baby? Have you talked to Katy?"

"About that.. She- I don't know.." I stutter as I feel more tears escaping from my eyes.

"Shhh baby don't cry. Do you want me to come over?"

"I-I don't think m-mum will allow it"

"But what if we meet outside your house?"

"mm.." I reply quietly and let out a loud sob.

"Shh Shhh. I'm here okay? I will be there in 15 minutes!"

"O-okay, see you soon"

"See ya soon, love you, bye!"

"Love you, bye!"

***

20 minutes later...

"Hannah!" I flinch when I hear Anna yelling my name. I turn around and run towards her.

"Hey! Are you feel-" I quickly place my hand over her mouth so she won't make any noise. I then push her against the wall that surrounds my house, so we could become invisible through the walls. I place my hands on her waist and gives her a warm kiss on her lips.

"Thank you for coming.." I say and put on my signature fake smile.

"No problem baby, my heart was clenching in pain when I heard you cry" She says with a sad tone as she pulls me in for a warm hug. I decided to tell Anna everything. She gives me a sympathetic look as she pulls me in for another hug.

"It's going to be okay" she sais as I bawl into her chest.

"It's not going to be okay" I say as i pull away for her embrace and wiping away my tears.

***

hours later...

"Bye baby! See you on Monday" Anna yells to my direction as she disappears in the darkness.

"Bye! I love you!" I yell back as I start to walk towards my house. My shoes are clicking on the pavement as I walk up my porch. I quietly push the door open, it's dead silent.

Just as I'm about to walk up the stairs realization hits me. What if mum have been dri- no stop it Hannah! She has been sober for 2 months now so why would she drink tonight?