Forgetting Logic | Book One

13

The bell above the entrance would ring every so often to alert the barista about a new costumer. I took the time to sit and just people watch.

I haven't got the chance to just relax recently. Everything has been spinning out of control and I don't know if I can handle it all.

I believe that it is just time for me to go.

Go and explore the world and gain some respect for myself. I need to be alone and figure out who I want to be. I can't do that here.

Not with Thomas around.

I'll always fall back into his arms and forget why I was ever mad at him. I'll forget everything that He's done and I can't let that happen. I can't let myself love like that again.

"What are you thinking about?" John said as he sat in front of me.

A long sigh escaped my mouth and I didn't even care. It's not that I didn't want to see John, my mind is not in a safe place and I don't know what to do with myself.

I looked at John with low eyes and chuckled "Would everything be a good answer?"

John smiled and shook his head. "Coming from you Alexander it's pretty normal."

I nodded in agreement. "Look I'm sorry about this morning I...I don't know what came over me. Literally this is all a shock to me and I should've never slept with you John I-"

"Was just doing it so you could get over Thomas. Yea I know Alexander." John finished what I was going to say.

He didn't faultier in his stance. He stood in my truth and his hurt and All I could do was admire him for the strength he possesses.

He looked at me with tiny tears in his eyes. "I wanted to believe that maybe even just for a second that you felt the same way that I felt about you for all these years. I knew that you didn't, I knew that you were hurt. I knew that you were emotionally down and out. All you wanted was to forget about Thomas just for a little while and so you picked me and even though I knew better, I still had sex with you and I don't regret it."

With that said he walked away. He didn't even spare me a second glance.

What the hell am I suppose to do Now?

........,

The day went on and I've decided on what I should do.

I knocked on Thomas's door and waited patiently.

There was no answer so I knocked again.

After Ten minutes of knocking the door opened and Thomas stood there. His shirt was off and so was his sweats. Beads of sweat dripped from his forehead all the way to his stomach.

Behind him on the couch a few feet away laid Maddison in all his Glory.

I looked at Thomas. I couldn't show any emotion, at least not of Sadness. I've been through too much with this bitch to cry. You wanna play with my heart? Then Fuck you.

"Alexander, w-what are you doing here?"
Thomas stuttered I could tell he was nervous I could smell it.

"Are Fucking serious?"

"It's not what it looks like." Thomas rushed inside to put on his shirt. I followed him inside and slammed the door. Maddison quickly arose and started dressing himself.

I pulled Maddison's clothes from his grasped. "Nahhhhh James you might as well stay naked. Seems like you were perfectly fine like that in the first place. And you!"

I pointed at Thomas.

"I can't believe you even have the nerve to tell me that it's not what the fuck it looks like! What happened huh! Please tell me what the fuck happened!! Let me Fucking guess you tripped and somehow spontaneously your dick plunged into his ass?!"

"If you would just let me explain"

"THERES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO FUCKING EXPLAIN!" By this time I was in his face yelling.

"I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!"As quick as a flash of lightning Thomas screamed and out of rage he grabbed my arms and threw me to the wall making me hit my head against it forcefully. I hit the floor with a loud thud. It happened so quickly that none of is comprehended what had just occurred.

My hair was scattered all over my face as I looked up at him slowly. I felt different streaks of blood cascade down my face. I could taste the iron on my tongue. It fell silent.

Thomas took a step back and hung his head down looking at the floor. "You're and indecisive bitch. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Everyday is another problem or doubt and I can't live my life like this anymore."

A bitter laughed escape my throat. " You can't live your life like this anymore? Tell me Thomas, besides the death of your mother...what else have you faced. Have you been abused? Have you been raped? Have you watched the love of your life almost commit suicide? Have you had the most personal journal you could ever have read out loud? Please Thomas let me know."

All the hate and resentment from past here all gathered here today in this very room at this very moment. Everything that happened that night flooded my memories. My screams and pleads for them to stop.

Everything.

I looked up at him once again feeling a small portion of blood run down my nose. "You've haven't changed a bit Tommy boy."

I got up slowly and dusted off my pants. I didn't make an effort to move the hair from out of my face. "Still the same asshole you always were. It's okay. I've learned my lesson. Men like you don't change and can't be changed. Pieces of shit like you don't deserve love."

" I love you." Thomas tried to reach out to me but I pulled away.

"Go to hell."

"I'm so sorry." Thomas whispered.

I grabbed my cellphone and started walking towards the door.

" Oh, and before you fucking abused me, I came to tell you that I'm leaving for California tomorrow. Good luck without me."

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So we're back after a long hiatus! This is way overdue and sadly we are coming to a close in the next two chapters. I've already posted the prologue/sneak peak to the sequel called "Chasing Clouds" so make sure to check that out. Anywayyyyyyyyy

What are you thinking about now?

What do you about Thomas?

What do you think about Alex?

How do you think their relationship will end?

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