Diary of a Nerd

Tomatoes Are Weapons

Lunch is boring every day. But, today was extra boring. Even the disgusting, rotten food was boring. However, a food fight was bound to happen today. I've seen the way these kids take full advantage of spaghetti and meatball days. To keep from my clean overalls getting stained again, I sheltered myself behind a group of jocks. Alone of course, but none the less, I was safe in case any food started to fly across the room. 

Sure enough, after everybody's milk cartons had been emptied, some runt decided to thrash a fork at some other kid. And from then on, well lets just say the jaitors were cursing in their sleep.

So, I thought that the jocks big, over-worked bodies would protect me. Yea, sure they did. Until they ran away to avoid their gear getting dirty. And there I was, all innocent- and the perfect target. Instantly, food came flying toward me. I could duck, but what good would that do when almost half of those kids came running toward me? I had to do something, or else I'd be covered in noodles and sauce by the time they were done with me.

Without thinking, I grabbed a tomato from my tray and threw it as hard as I could at the closest kid. It was like a horror movie. I had to save myself, or I'd die... alone. The kid fell to the floor, his face covered   with a splattered tomato. I had more tomatoes! And for some reason, today I had excellent aim. So, I filled my arms with ammo and ran as far as I could before I had to fire again. This time, I aimed for the biggest kid and hit him right in the eye! Yes! Oh, and... GAME ON, YOU STUPID LITTLE CHILDREN!! 

Noodles also became my new best friend (well, only best friend). They worked so well if I grabbed a handful of them and thrashed them at someone. If only I had some sort of gun that was made specially for shooting spaghetti and meatballs.

Now, I was standing on the table. I never even realized how serious and focused you have to be during a food fight. I also never realized how much kids starting hating on you. Oh Lord, not the sandwich... NO!! Oh!! I just got slammed with someone's slimy sandwich. Oh. The pain. But, I couldn't let this small error take me down. I had a stash full of noodles and meatballs that I picked up from some kid's tray. I could do this if I stayed strong. 

As I leaped from table to table, I could see the kids gaining up on me out of the corner of my eye. Even the teachers were after me now, but for different reasons. I grabbed but another handful of spaghetti and feircely aimed for this one crazy girl. 

The next thing I knew... I was sitting in the principal's office. With many consequences. And a couple food stains on my overalls. And a stack of books. And a detention. And even more enemies...