How to Say Thank You

7. Realizations

I woke up in my bed. How the hell did I get here? I must have fallen asleep in the car, someone must have carried me up. I rolled over and was startled when I saw Luke's face so close to mine. His eyes were closed, and his lips naturally rested in a pout while he slept.  I smiled to myself and lifted my pointer finger to his lips. 

"I really like you," I whispered as I traced my finger around his lips. I was speaking more to myself, with him being asleep and all. What even is the point in liking him? In a few days he will have to go back to his home, which is halfway across the globe. He will forget about me, he won't like me anymore. There isn't a point in being the way that we are now. We act like a couple, and for what? "There's no point in it though," I whispered again, bringing my fingers away from his face. I felt my eyes start to water, which is so silly of me. I shouldn't be upset over it, but I am. I like him too much for my own good. 

I stood from the bed, being as gentle as I could not to wake Luke, and made my way over to the mirror that hung on the wall above my dresser. I fixed my hair and wiped the mascara from my eyes that had smudged when my eyes started watering. I stood there for a minute, just looking at my reflection, thinking of how dumb I'm acting. Eventually I get over myself and exit the room, leaving Luke to sleep until he wakes up. 

I walk across the hall and into Adam's room, where I find him sleeping on his bed. I backed my way quietly out of the room, closing the door behind me. I continued my search for life by going down and checking the guest rooms. I crept into the first room to find Michael sleeping, to my dissapointment. Sighing, I walked across the hall to the other guest room, only to find Ashton asleep. That leaves Calum. I figure he won't be downstairs, because that is where my parents are, so I check the gameroom.  

He sits by himself on a bean-bag in the middle of the room, playing on his phone. 

"Finally I find someone who is awake!" I sigh, bringing myself up a bean-bag beside his. He put his phone down before looking over to me and smiling. "Whatchya doin?" 

"Just checking out Twitter," he says quietly. I nod my head and look around the room, awkwardly. Neither of us mean to make it awkward, it's just that we haven't gotten to know each other that well, so we don't really know what to talk about. Out of all four of the guys, he is the one that I am least close to, not that I am really that "close" with any of them besides Luke, but even with him there is so much left untold. "Have you been crying?" he asks. I feel my stomach start to churn, and I am just silent, unsure of how to answer. 

"No," I lie. I look down at my twiddling fingers. 

"I can tell when a person has been crying, no need to lie to me, Ryleigh." I hesitate, debating on whether or not to tell him why I was upset. I want to talk to someone about it, I'm just not sure how, and I don't want him to think I'm obsessive or anything, because I'm not. I'm just a girl who really likes a guy. 

"Don't make fun of me when I tell you this," I start, and he nodds his head, "but I just... I really like Luke, like.. really like him," I emphasize. 

"Trust me I know," he jokes. "Why does liking Luke make you cry?" He leans closer to me, furrowing his eyebrows together.  

"Because it's pointless!" I almost shout. "It's just so pointless to like him, and act like a couple and everything, when in just a few days all four of you will return back to your home halfway across the globe and I will never see him or anything, it's just so pointless, you know?" I ramble. He probablby doesn't care, but it feels good to tell someone how I feel. "I will never see him and then he will forget about me. He will forget about me and move on to find some other girl who is much prettier than me. And all the while I will be here, miserably and hopelessly lost because I let myself become infatuated with him." I finally finished my ramble and looked up to find Calum smiling. "What?"