Healing Touch

Chapter 19

1000% unedited. Read with Caution.

My throat burns. I didn't even notice at first. In this moment, there was nothing I noticed besides one thing--person.

All the moments I've ever felt this fear flashed through my mind like a well thought out presentation. Trembling moments of agitation, of my past being my forever. However, nothing compared to this. That's not my forever. Landon is and if I lose that, it's over. I've had my life dangling on a splitting string for years. I stopped truly fearing for myself a long time ago. But this terror of losing him surpassed any other emotion I have ever endured.

How could this have happened? How did I allow this to happen? Why did I let him go?

All of the reasons he left, none of them seem worth it anymore. All the answers he could have found, or did find, didn't seem to matter.

I know they had to forcibly remove me from him.

I could feel them dragging me away. I didn't know who it was. All I knew was that there were hands, a hold, that was keeping me from him. Oh, God, was he breathing? Was I?

Gasping out my tears, I chocked on a sob as the air tried to quickly fill my lungs. My words were a blur to me. I don't even know if they were coherent. I just knew I was crying from him, reaching, clawing to him.

Men gathered around him, picking him from his pile of blood. As James orchestrated the move, the men responded to their conductor, lifting the heavy mass that is my mate.

None of this made sense to me. My whole life seemed plotted against me. As if I'm the antagonist in the story of my life.

As the men made their way inside, whoever was holding me slowly let me free. I didn't bother to turn and meet their eye. I only had one concern. I took off after them.

I busted through the waiting the room. A place Landon had sat waiting for me only months ago. The irony of it all did not escape me.

I shoved past the men who had carried Landon making their way out the door, and stood in the middle of the room. James was fast at work. I don't say anything though. I just stand there and watch him work. My eyes run over every part of Landon. I knew James knew I was there. One look at my face and you could tell my world was crumbling. A silent understanding passed. 'Stay where you are, and I won't kick you out.'

I felt tremors shake and rake my body as the tears ran in a continuous stream from my eyes. I hadn't stopped crying, but I didn't care to stop. I watched James poke and prod at my mate to reveal long gushing claw marks. Some started from his hip bone, and traveled all the way to his ear. My breathing picked up and I shoved my fist in my mouth to keep from crying out or vomiting.

"James," I croak out, "l-let me heal him." My voice sounded small and meek. A representation of how I felt at the moment.

"No, you cannot be doing that anymore. I told you. Your body-"

"I don't care, James. I don't care. Just please-" I said my voice reeking of desperation.

He turned to me sharply.

"If he doesn't make it, we will need you, Lily. I cannot- the pack cannot risk losing you. Now stand there quietly while I work on your mate." He said before turning to have his back facing me.

The dismissal sent rage flooding through my veins and I could not stop from voicing myself. I was no long shaking from grief alone.

"You have no right. That man is mine. All I have or hope to have in the world is laying on that table and you're telling me that I cannot risk my all for a man that is my all? Your mate isn't lying in a pool of blood, and you'll get to see, talk, and kiss your mate tonight, but," my voice started breaking as I was once more filled completely with fear, "but I may n-not. I may never..." my heart was breaking and my voice trailed off, "And you have no right-"