It had been 3 weeks since I was told about my mothers death. I hadn't spoken a word to anyone. Nor did I leave my room. Well, I did. But only for the bathroom and shower. Other than that I wouldn't move. Bella would bring me bottles of water and food. Although I never ate any of it she still tried to help me.
I hadn't even gone to training. Sam had texted me multiple times but I was hurting. I couldn't, and wouldn't move. Jasper came by every day to sit with me. Dad seemed to love knowing that someone cared that much. I woke up to hearing talking outside my door. I couldn't hear them properly but I caught a familiar voice and sat up.
I stared down the door until it opened and Asher stepped in. He frowned as he took in the state I was in before crossing my room to pull me into his arms hugging me. I cried, again, into his chest and he shushed me softly wanting me to calm down. He hated seeing me upset. "It's okay Cali. You still have me and everyone else." He whispers.
He sits with me for an hour trying to get me to talk to him. It didn't really work. "Cali please don't do this again" He says sadly. I clench my eyes shut burying my face into my pillow. "Cali, I know it's hard to deal with a loss. Especially family. We all do. But you can't shut everyone out again. Not like you did after-" Before his name could come out of his mouth I cut him off.
"Stop it" I whisper. My eyes water as memories come back. "I just don't want a repeat Cali. Just talk to someone. Anyone. I'll be checking up on you soon. Whether it be myself, or through someone" He tells me softly. He kisses the top of my head before leaving. I push myself off my bed and walk to my bay window where my phone is.
I pick it up and stare at the messages from everyone. My door opens and I turn seeing my dad. He just looks at me not sure what to do. I drop my phone and walk over hugging him as I bury my face in his chest. HE hugs me tightly and I sniffle. "Shes gone daddy" I whimper into his chest. His arms tighten around me.
"I know baby. And I'm so sorry. I wish there was more someone could of done." He whispers to me. "Why don't you come down and eat? At least some soup or something. Your starting to worry me." He says softly. I pull out of our hug and nod my head at him. "Come on then. Bellas downstairs to. I Know she's been worried about you." He tells me.
We walk out of my room and downstairs. As I walk into the kitchen I see Bella making dinner. She turns and sees me and walks over hugging me tightly. And yes, I said dinner. My sleep schedule had been real messed up since then. I slept random hours through the day. "Want some soup? After not eating so long I don't think burgers would settle to well" Bella smiles.
"Soup sounds nice" I say softly. She nods at me as she pulls out some stuff for my soup. I sit in the kitchen with her and once shes done she hands me a bowl of soup. Her and dad eat their food and we all walk to the living room. We put on a movie and I sit on the couch with Bella who wraps me up in a blanket.
As the movie ends there's a knock on the door. Bella moves to get it and returns with Jasper behind her. I weakly smile at him. "Wow, the living room? This is definitely a view changer" He says with a small smile. I roll my eyes at him as he comes and sits on the floor in front of me letting Bella take her seat back by me.
I lean forward wrapping my arms around him to give him a hug. He smiles up at me and as dad starts another movie I start to play with Jaspers hair. "Have you eaten anything?" He asks me. "Yeah. Bella made me some soup." I say softly. "Good. You were starting to get to thin." He says softly.
Once this movie finishes dad goes off to bed. I sit with Jasper and Bella for a bit before Bella goes to bed. "I need to tell you and your family about something. If I don't do it tonight I'll chicken out" I tell him softly. "Of course. Come on. I'll drive us" He says pulling me off the couch. I slide on my shoes and grab my phone following him out to his car.
He drives off speeding like a Cullen towards their house. Once we got there he runs around opening my door. I get out and let him take my hand leading us inside. When we get to the living room I see Alice, Rose and Esme there. "Where's the others? Cali wanted to tell us all something" Jasper says softly.
"I'll go get them." Rose tells us softly. She disappears and reappears with all 3 boys behind her. They all sit down as Jasper pulls me over to the love seat to sit down. He wraps an arm around me lightly as I take a breath. Memories run through my head about that night and everything that followed it.
I notice both Edward and Jasper flinch. "Sorry." I whisper. "Bug... no" Edwards voice is weak, which surprises me. I look up at him with watery eyes and see he looks heartbroken. He gets up pacing before staring out the window. A tear rolls down my cheek as I finally gain the courage to start my story.
"So you all remember my brother right?" I ask weakly. "Of course we do. How is Jase?" Carlisle asks lightly. More tears roll down my cheeks as I drop my head. "He's dead" I manage to spit out as I start to break down again. "Cali what happened?" Rose asks softly. "We were on an assignment. We were supposed to kill the guy. But of course it's never easy" I explain.
"We were both going at him but at one point. He threw my brother off so bad it took him a second to get up. And when he did, he saw I was at gun point. And right at the last second he dove infront of me. And took the shot." I say as tears race down my cheeks. "Oh my god..." Alice says sadly. "At the angle it hit him, it caught every vital organ. He never stood a chance to survive."
I take a breath. "When I saw him on the floor bleeding out, I went on a rampage. I killed our target. But it was a bit of an overkill. They do autopsies on them after we kill them, don't know why. But once they did, they calculated over 100 stab wounds." I say. "Well damn" Emmett says and Rose smacks him.
"After he died I shut everyone out. Like I've done the past few weeks. I wouldn't eat anything. I could barely sleep. And when I did I woke up from nightmares about it" I cry as I know the next part is going to break most of them. "There was a few times I would faint, from not eating enough. But my mom was never there so I would never tell her what happened" I sniffle.
"It had been maybe.. 2 months since he passed and I still wasn't talking, eating or sleeping. My episodes of fainting got worse and my mom found out. We went at it arguing and eventually she stormed out pissed at me." I say as the tears come faster rolling down my cheeks. "Tell them Cali..." Edwards strangled sounded voice came from the window.
"Cali?" Carlisle questions softly. "After my mom stormed out I basically had an emotional and mental breakdown. I broke anything that could break. I trashed the entire house. When I finally stopped I was in the bathroom... When I looked at myself I couldn't hold it in and cried my eyes out. Nothing was right anymore." I cried harder.
"Cali if you can't say it I will. Tell them" Edward snaps at me. "It's okay Cali. You can tell us" Jasper whispers to me. "Like I said nothing was right and uh..." I trail off as I cried harder. Rose seemed to catch on and I heard her gasp. "Cali... please don't say what I think you're about to" She says desperately.
"I'm sorry" I cry and she starts to dry sob into Emmett who was confused. "Cali..." Jasper says softly. "I wanted to be with Jase. So I tried to kill myself" I say clenching my eyes shut as I cried. I heard everyone else gasp. Jasper tugs me into his chest hugging me tightly. "What happened?" He asks weakly.
"Asher had been on his way to check on me. I had swallowed a bunch of pills in the cabinet. He saw me stuff them in my mouth but was to late to make me spit them out. He fought me out of the house into the car. Took me to the hospital and made them pump my stomach. They had me on suicide watch for 2 weeks." I explain.
"After that. Asher wouldn't let me do a case for 6 months. He had me helping the newbies train. That's what Asher meant a few weeks ago when he said he didn't want a repeat." I say as I finish off my story. It's quiet for a while until I'm picked up out of my seat in a hug. I realize it's Edward and hug him back tightly. Everyone gave me a hug after that.
Jasper drove me back home and came up to my room with me. I changed for bed before laying down. Jasper was standing at my Bay Window staring out it. "Jazz... please come lay with me" I say softly. He turns to me and walks over. He slides into bed with me and lays down pulling me into his chest.
It's silent before Jasper talks. "Never do that again. Even just the thought of you doing that kills me. Promise if you ever feel that way, you'll talk to me." He says sadly. "I promise Jazz. I'm sorry" I say weakly. "Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. Promise. I'm not going anywhere" He says softly as he kisses my head.
