The end of all love?

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I've been thinking a lot lately. About love, friends, family,... I just don't know anymore. I don't know what to think. Since we broke up, I feel like all love is gone. I mean, I love my friends but in a different way. I just lost all faith in love. I don't believe it anymore. I don't believe in true love. I don't believe that there is someone waiting for me. For anyone. I don't believe that people fall in love. It's just something humans came up with to make themselves feel happy. But it doesn't affect me. Not anymore. I don't believe that one day, I'll find the one. I don't believe that I'll grow old with one person. I don't believe that I'll ever love someone again. I just... don't believe.

*triing triing*

'Hello?', I say into my phone.

'Anna, where are you right now?'

It's Mason. He sounds... sad. Oh no.

'Just... outside. Hanging around. Why?', I say as I look at my own reflection in the water. I look so small from up here. So... vulnerable.

'Can you come home please? There's something I want to talk to you about.'

'Are you okay?'

'Yeah yeah... just... come home please.'

He sounds as convincing as a man telling his wife she doesn't look fat in that dress... Not very.

'Okay, I'll see you in a second.'

No response. He hangs up and I mentally say goodbye to the view. The sun is setting and the water has an orange glare. I get up and walk home. As I cross the street a car honks very loud and I hear a man screaming:' Look where you're going, you idiot! I'm driving here!'

I look up and notice that the man is screaming to me. I realize that I am walking very slowly and speed up a bit. My mind has been keeping me off guard for the last few days. It's either a complete chaos up there, or nothing at all. I get distracted very easily and can't finish any task. I try to focus. I really do, but I just... can't. My mind keeps wandering off.

I arrive at home and go straight to Masons room. I knock on the door.

'Mason? You in there?'

I can here him sobbing a little.

'Yeah, come in.'

I slowly open the door and see him sitting on the bed. His eyes are very red and there are tears running over his cheeks, dripping down onto his bedsheets. He's holding a tissue in one hand and his phone in the other. The latter is connected to his headphones, but I can here the music from 10 feet away. I slowly enter and close the door behind me.

'What's wrong, Mason?'

'Karla... she... we're not... she broke up with me', he stutters.

O.M.G. My mind goes completely blank. I sit down next to him and offer him a hug. He accepts and puts his wet face on my shoulder as he starts to cry even more. I hold him firmly for a while. I have no idea what else I can do. When we let go of each other I look at him and ask:' How did it happen? Why?'

'We've been arguing a lot lately and she said it was just too much. She wasn't happy anymore so she decided to let it all go. We split up as friends tho... Not that it matters..'

'Well, it's something. Right now, you just have to take your time to calm down. Good thing summer break's coming up. You'll have plenty of time then.'

'Yeah.. I guess.'

We talk for a while and after about an hour I say:

'If there's anything I can do for you, please tell me. I'm here for you.'

'Thanks, but I don't think there's much you can do.'

I give him one last hug before I get up and go to my own room. As I lay down on my bed and look at my LA-poster, I realize I haven't eaten since... yesterday morning! Why have I not eaten anything? As I think about it, I notice my stomach is hurting and making noises. And yet, the thought of eating or just food makes me sick.

Strange... Weird... Odd...

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