Hopelessly Devoted-A Modern Hamilton Romance

Twenty-Five

"It's fine, really. You asked me to go a while ago, I should've asked for details sooner. Or at all."

-

It had only been thirty minutes into the drive when John and I both became drowsy. It's not like I was boring him with conversation–more like we hadn't spoken at all.

Finally, it seemed like we were both fed up with the silence, and we both began speaking at the same time. Me with something attempting to be funny and him with something that sounded like it was going to be serious.

I began with, "so did you hear about the kidnapping?" whereas he said, "so about earlier..."

Needless to say, I was going to let him talk first.

"Wait, not, you finish yours! No, I didn't hear about the kidnapping, what happened?" John said, turning slightly to face me for a second in the dark before turning back to the road.

"Oh, don't worry, he woke up."

John snorted again, but this time it was a I-think-you're-funny snort, which made me happy.

"Sorry. You can continue now," I said, honestly wanting to hear what he had to say.

"Um, so, like, about what happened earlier...  I was going to make some lame excuse as to why I kissed you but I can't think of any which is probably why I'm saying this to you right now but I want you to hear it from sober, conscious me rather than drunk voicemail me." So it was about what I thought it was. John's voice began to sound strained, and I almost wanted to tell him he didn't have to say all that he was about to, but I couldn't. I needed to hear it. "Um. Wow, I'm actually telling you this. Damn."

John stayed quiet for a few seconds after his statement, so I interrupted.

"John, you don't have to do this."

"I do, though," He said, glancing at me again. "I need to say it."

I just nodded, allowing him time to think of what to say. Meanwhile, all I could feel was the letters burning in my pocket. Should I do it first? Put myself out there, just hand the letters to him and be like "there." Well, no, Alex, that'd be dumb, he's driving, you idiot, he couldn't read them.

Should I read them to him?

As soon as this thought crossed my mind, John began talking again.

"I told myself that I wouldn't tell you that I liked you until I knew for sure you liked me back, so I guess I'll use that kiss earlier as proof that you do. So, here it is. These are my confessions. I, uh, I... Really like you. And, like, you know that already probably, but I just wanted to put it out there. So. Yeah."

I looked at him. His nervousness was the cutest thing I'd ever seen and I realized then that I didn't want to not be able to tell him stuff like that out loud. So, I put my own nerves aside and slid the letters out of my pocket. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the first one out of its envelope, my hands shaking. I could barely make out the words on the page, but I read it anyways.

"Dearest Laurens," I began. John took in a breath, taking his eyes off the road yet again to look at me and see what I was holding. "I cannot put into words well enough how strongly I feel for you. And I only just met you a few days ago! I've never been this open with a piece of paper before, but these are things that need to be said, so I am writing them. You are the one thing that keeps me going, really. I only just moved here and there's already so much drama, but I go through it all head on because I know that I might get a chance to see you, even for just a second. Your face makes me happy, your laugh is my favourite song, your smile could literally light up a room and that's just the beginning of the cliches. You're oxygen and I'm expensive parchment, and you're going to ruin me." 

I ended before the sincerely part, not daring to look up from the paper. Instead, I pulled out the second letter and read that one too, and after, I read the third. 

John wasn't saying anything, so I finally got the courage to look up at him. His eyes seemed shiny and he had the largest smile possible on his face.

"So, yeah. There's all that," I said, not moving my eyes away from his face. "I like you too. A lot. If I didn't mention that at all."

After what seemed like hours, John finally spoke. "If I wasn't driving on a highway right now, I'd kiss you for hours."

-

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

HELLO, WONDERFUL PEOPLE. I say wonderful completely seriously here. I haven't updated since July, but this book has still risen to 30k reads?? Insanity.

This section is more of an apology than a thank you, though. 

I thought that I'd have loads of time this summer to update but it turns out, I didn't (obviously). Anyways, I'm so sorry that I haven't produced anything since July and now finally I do (it is october honestly thea who do you think you are) and all you wonderful people get is this piece of shit.

HERE ARE MY EXCUSES FOR NOT UPDATING:

-I had to fly fourteen hours to visit my family in China for a week at the end of August, do I get points for that?

-Classes started back up and my schedule is packed this semester

-I am in a show (!!!!!!!) (Pride and Prejudice) being produced at a small theater near campus and the schedule for that is demanding as well

-I'm supposed to have all of my lines memorized by October 10th (yes that is this tuesday) but I know about none of act II (that wasn't an excuse just me complaining)

-I'm a horrible person who tells herself she'll upload but then doesn't and watching thirteen episodes of Glee instead.

I'm sorry. No more excuses.

See you soon

Xoxo, gossip girl:)