Hopelessly Devoted-A Modern Hamilton Romance

Fourteen

hey guys next week I'm going to be doing a lot of stuff so I'm trying to update as much as i can this week:) love y'all and 700 WOOWW

-

p r e v i o u s l y:

"What thing?"

"The... The kissing thing."

"What about it?"

"How did it happen?" John asks, looking at his feet.

I motion him to come closer and stand up from my seat.

"Okay, so you were there," I point to the couch and he lays down, just like earlier. "And I was here," I kneeled down in the exact position. "And you said something cute, and bam, it happened." I explain how it went and then went to stand up.

There was only one thing stopping me from getting up, and that was John's hands on my collar, and his lips on mine.

My eyes shut as the familiar feeling took over, our lips touching.

Soon, too soon, he let go of my collar and I pulled away.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't- I shouldn't have done that." John stutters, sitting up from the couch.

I just nodded, still out of breath.

"Just- Just please don't hate me, okay? I've wanted to do that for a long time and, and, look, I'm sorry. I wanted to do it when I was- when I was drunk last night but now that I'm sober I realize that it's a mistake and I'm-" I cut off his rant by placing my lips to his neck gently, making him suck in a breath.

"Don't be sorry. It wasn't a mistake, friends kiss all the time, right?" I say, trying to be reassuring but obviously failing.

"You don't- You don't understand." John tells me, getting up and pacing around the room. "You don't understand the signs, all the signs I give you. God, how much more blunt do I have to be?"

"John- John, what are you taking about?" He was making me nervous, pacing around like that.

"N-nothing. Nothing. Yeah, friends kiss all the time. Friends." He repeats, dragging his feet all around the room.

I realize what he means when he repeats 'friends' a few more times. "Shit, oh my gosh. John, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" He asks, stopping his pacing and turning to me.

"I'm sorry for calling us friends, it's obvious that you don't want us to be that." I say, looking at my feet. I willed tears to not flood to my eyes. This is why you can't trust anyone. Shut him out.

"Ah, finally you get it... I've been giving you signs and you just haven't been understanding..." He continues but I zone him out, trying to rebuild the walls and not let my trust get damaged any more.

"Alex, Alex, where are you going?" John asks frantically, running to me. I walk closer to the door but he stops me, blocking my way out.

"Friends. Not friends. We're... Stupid Alex, stupid." I mumble to myself, pushing him out of the way and walking blindly out of the room.

"Fuck." I hear John say after I leave, but I ignore him.

He got your trust and he hit it with a hammer.
This is why you can't make friends.
You can trust no one.

-

Aaron's POV:

"Wait, okay, so if you like me then why did you brush me off at the party?"

"I hadn't realised that I liked you until, like, just now. No one has ever fallen for me so I figured you were just drunk or something."

I stare at the girl in front of me, confused. "What do you mean no one's fallen for you? You had a boyfriend for, what was it, three years? Four? Plus, you're hot. I'm sure any guy on campus would kill to be in my position right now."

"It's different than what you think, actually. Guys just use me because I'm pretty."

"That's kind of sad that they think you're just some play thing." I scoffed.

"You kind of came off as one of those guys at the party. You said something about going upstairs together and making a memory."

I groaned at that statement. Not one of my best moments, I've gotta say. "I'm sorry about that, I was so nervous."

"It's fine. You saved me from Charles and that, above all, means the world to me."

At mention of the man who drugged the girl I like, my fists automatically clench and I shift in my seat.

"Maria, uh, are you sure that you're not mistaking your feelings towards me for, um, gratefulness? I'm sorry for being paranoid, but, uh, all this has happened over such a short period of time, so, um, I-I figured, I mean, it's possible." I ramble on, looking down at my now shaking hands. I don't want to think about the what-ifs, but they make their way into my mind like termites.

"Aaron. I'm completely sure. Yes, I'm grateful for all that you've done for me, but I also know when I like someone. Whenever I see you I get knots in my stomach. Not in a bad way, though. Butterflies are a permanent thing when I'm with you. You're so cocky and flirty and while I want to hate you I can't, because you're so damn nice. Seriously, you could make friends with the unfriendliest of bears. When I saw you kissing that other girl, I got really jealous, and I couldn't help myself from storming away. When you kissed me, I didn't stop you. You know why? Because all those things that happen in books and movies when two people kiss, the sparks and fireworks and all that? That happened. I dreaded pulling away but I knew I had to, I thought you were drunk, for God's sake. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't pushed you away." Maria says, all in one breath.

"Wow... I-I don't know what to say. Wow. I didn't realize..." I trail off, speechless at her monologue.

"Maria, will you be my girlfriend?" I ask, out of the blue.

"No." She deadpans, stabbing a knife, no, a chainsaw through my heart.

"What? Why not? Are you joking? Is this a prank? Where is Ashton Kutcher?" I joke, trying to break the tension.

"Ashton Kutcher is on The Ranch now, nice try. Look, Aaron, I like you, but I want to take it slow. I just, well not technically just but he finally realised that we were done, got out of a long relationship that was, to put it simply, not good. I need to rebuild my trust in guys and I need to have some space to think and I need time. Can you give me that?"

I nod eagerly, glad that she hadn't been joking this entire time. "Yeah, yeah, of course."

She broke into an easy smile, all traces of tension cleared from the room. "Good. Okay, you should go now. Thanks, Aaron."

"For what?" I ask, slightly confused as to why she's kicking me out so soon.

"For everything." She whispers, leaving a dainty kiss on my cheek.

I sigh as she opens the door and motions me out into the hall.

"Wait, Maria!" I surprise myself by calling after I've moved into the hallway She opens the door enough to see me and I grip her cheeks, pulling her lips to mine.

She giggles into the chaste kiss and pulls away, of course leaving me wanting more.

"Goodnight, A-a-ron."

-

An

My mom and sister are fighting but normally it's yelling but currently they're all calm and i'm just like hah hah I'ma sit in the living room now k k k calum down

Fam there might be a double update today woohoo but don't get your hopes up: )

Xoxo, gossip girl