The following conversations take place while Lauren is in her room with the door closed and I am somewhere else in the house.
Lauren-"Dad!"
Me- "What?"
Lauren- "Come to my room!"
Me- "Why?"
Lauren-"I need you to look at something!"
Me- "No. You come out here if you need something."
Lauren- "Okay."
A minute later.
Lauren- "There is someone at the front door!"
Her bedroom has a window from which you can see our front door. I get up and open the front door. No one is there.
Me- "No one is at the front door!"
Lauren-"You're at the front door! Look over here!"
I look toward her window. She is standing right next to the window.
Lauren-"Does this shirt go with these pants?"
I close the door without saying a word.
#2 When she was about 9 or 10. She knows she is not allowed to have boys over.
Lauren-"Dad!"
Me- "What?"
Lauren- "Can I have a boy over?"
Me- "Over where?"
Lauren-"Here!"
Me-"No!"
Lauren-"Why not?"
Me- "Because I said no!"
Lauren- "Is it because he's black? Not very nice dad!"
Me- "What the hell are you talking about!?"
Lauren- "You're being a racist!"
Me- "What the hell are you talking about? Who is black?"
Lauren-"Forget it. I don't even want to talk about it with you anymore! Leave me alone!"
Me- "Look. I am not racist. You're friend can come over if he wants."
Lauren- "Okay. Maybe this weekend?"
Me- "Sure. What's his name?"
Lauren- "Hector."
Me- "Hector is black? "
Lauren- "Nope."
Me- "Then what was all that about?"
Lauren- "I don't know what you are talking about Dad. We are gonna want pizza. "
#3 She about 6 or 7. What is it about kids and strays?
Lauren - "Dad. Are we ever going to have a dog?"
Me - "We had a dog. It ran away."
Lauren - "Are we ever going to have another one?"
Me - "Nope."
Lauren - "Okay."
Me - "Lauren?"
Lauren - "What?"
Me - "I can smell the dog poop from here!"
Lauren - "I pooped."
Me - "Get the dog out of there!"
Lauren - "No. I pooped!"
Me - "Get that dog outside and clean your room!"
Lauren - "Okay. But I don't have to clean my room."
Me - "And why not?"
Lauren - "Because he pooped in yours!"
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
