Lauren's brain never stops. Well, that's not quite accurate. Sometimes it never starts. Whatever the case it is always up to something. Rarely anything it should be up to, but I guess I prefer it in motion than just to be stagnant thinking about nothing. Or do I? You be the judge.
Almost every day and for no apparent reason Lauren will scream some vague statement from her room. She doesn't even care who is out there listening or cares if someone answers her. I think it is more for her than anyone else. Sometimes it's directed at me, but not always. Sometimes she's just got stuff to say and doesn't want to get out of bed to say it. I'm usually in the living room reading, writing, or watching TV when she gets in her "shout out" moods.
The following conversations took place on different days and through the closed door from her room.
#1
Lauren-"Dad!"
Me- "What?"
Lauren -"They found another organ in the human body!"
Me-"Whose body?"
Lauren-"Everybody's body! It's part of the stomach, but they never knew was there all along! It's called the mesentery!"
Me-"No they didn't."
Lauren-"Yes, they did."
Me. "Great. Good for them. "
A few minutes pass.
Lauren-"Dad?"
Me-"What?"
Lauren-"My mesentery hurts."
Me-"Oh shut up."
#2
Lauren-"There's a huge solar flare coming!"
Me-"So?"
Lauren-"I can't go to school. I have very delicate skin."
Me- "It won't hurt you. And how do you know there is one coming anyway?"
Lauren-"I have an app for that. This one is big. We shouldn't go out."
Me- "You have a test today don't you?"
Lauren-"It's not an important one!"
Me-"You need to stop this you're in college already."
Lauren-"(mimicking me) You need to stop this you're in college already."
Me-"Stop it."
Lauren-"Stop it."
Me-"I'm serious."
Lauren-"I'm serious."
Me- "Want to go to Taco Ole?"
Lauren-"Let me get ready!"
Me-"Just kidding loser. Get ready for class."
#3
Lauren-"Dad I'm going to join a gym!"
Me-"You have money?"
Lauren-"No. You do. I want to join Gold's Gym. I need to find one that fit's my schedule. It's open 24 hours a day!"
Me-"Yeah, but not all in a row."
Lauren-"What do you mean?"
Me-"It is open 24 hours a day, but not all in a row."
Lauren-"Oh damn. Okay. Forget it then!"
30 minutes pass
Lauren-"Not funny Dad! I'm joining!"
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
