Bitter Sweet | (Published) ✔

{7} A Bucket of Awkward

Ibrahim Tarkan

I brushed my teeth. The hotel room we were staying at was quite fancy. I had decided to spend the night in one of my business partner's hotels because my grandparents would be staying at my estate to watch over Bashir. I spit water out and gripped the counter. My eyes lifted to the mirror as I gazed at my reflection.

She knows.

I was a broken mess. I was a man with demons inside. I wasn't, nor will I ever be, good enough for the sweet bride that was sharing this room with me. She was pure and innocent. She was like an angel. She was raised in the comfort of a family. Tasneem didn't know the evils of reality.

She was sheltered from it. I was the complete opposite. I had shunned my own family for years. I lived through a harsh reality. I became a monster in the shadows. The scars on my arms were proof of my past. I glanced at the harsh lines through my white muscle shirt. I squeezed my eyes shut.

She was going to be repulsed by them just like everyone else in my life was. No one wanted me for so long. As a teen, whenever I wore short sleeves, everyone would stare at them. They wouldn't say anything, but I knew it bothered people, it irked them. When I turned my back, they'd whisper.

People would come up with rumors of my past. I found myself enjoying solitude rather than the comfort of others. I found comfort in my own thoughts instead of comforting voices.

I opened my eyes. Allah saved me. He was the one I turned to in all those days and years of loneliness. I had no one else to turn to. No one understood what I had been through. No one could imagine the pain I had endured for years. They didn't know about all the darkness that had once consumed me. Not even my grandparents knew the full story. Bashir was too young to remember our parents and what had happened. I sighed and splashed water on my face.

I wouldn't taint Tasneem. She shouldn't have to deal with my emotional baggage. I only needed a wife. If she didn't want me after one year then I would let her leave.

I didn't expect us to last long. She could do so much better than me. I heard from the wedding that many men had wanted her, but her family always refused. I couldn't blame them. They had one daughter, hell, even I'd be over protective of Tasneem.

The idea of another man touching her boiled my blood. Perhaps it was because of her innocence. She wouldn't know how to deal with greedy men who only wanted her for their own pleasures. Tasneem deserved better than that. I felt a heavy sadness on my chest.

She should have married someone else. I expected her to say no to my proposal even with my threats. However, I was deeply mistaken. I shook my head. That girl was full of surprises.

I opened the door and walked into the adjoined room. Tasneem sat on the bed in her red wedding gown. Her bright red veil still neatly on her head as she stared down at her henna stained palms. The red lipstick didn't smudge at all. Her lips looked extremely kissable at that moment.

I could imagine biting down on her bottom lip that she teased me with before. I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. This seemed to snap her out of her daze and she looked up.

She peered at me through her thick lashes. Her big brown eyes widened as she took in my casual appearance. She had never seen me in anything but a suit, and here I was standing in front of her in my boxers and muscle shirt. Her lips formed an 'o' shape. The red lipstick was really making it hard to concentrate on anything remotely civil.

The gown she wore fell over her hips and waist, giving me a glimpse of her hourglass shape. I noticed that her eyes didn't linger on my scars, instead they were trained on my eyes. I raised a brow at her.